A Good Natured Prank

 

We were required to set the emergency brake at every delivery stop to prevent runaway accidents. This would lead to another possible prank. More often than not, someone would put grease on the underside of the emergency brakes of several drivers at once.

The driver wouldn’t use the brake until he reached his first stop, many times in isolated areas. The resulting mess was very difficult to clean up, and the perpetrators would spend the day chuckling about the presumed difficulties encountered by the victim. Most of us began carrying rags, just in case.

A good sense of humor was a necessity. It was all good natured fun, everyone laughed and no one got mad, (for the most part). It was back in the days before political correctness and people were still allowed to have fun and tell jokes, Gawd, I miss that!

Nowadays everyone is way too serious and often wear their feelings on their sleeves, just waiting for someone to insult them.

Gary has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

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Been in the Army Long

 

As I grabbed a parcel and jumped from my package car, I noticed an old gentleman wearing a tattered army fatigue jacket standing next to my car. The man was very old, had poor eyesight, obviously a retired world war two vet. He looked up at me in my brown uniform standing next to my brown vehicle and asked, “How long you been in the Army?”

I replied, “Just a few years,” and proceeded to walk into the bank. No further explanation was needed.

Gary has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

 

Useful Information

A snippet from my new book,”It’s Gotta Be the Shorts.

 

One of the most useful pieces of information, especially if they live in a rural area, is to discover what kind of car they drive along with a portion of their license plate number. Many times they will be seen in town and if you have a parcel for them, you can run them down and give it to them, thus saving a trip out in the country. This little fact saved us many hours of work over the years.

It can also have a humorous and embarrassing outcome. One day I happened to have a parcel for Bill. It was common knowledge he was married but had a girlfriend. It was one of those things that was common knowledge, but was only mentioned in a small circle of friends.

I suppose they thought they were getting away with something and nobody knew, far from the truth.

On this particular day, I happened to see Bill’s car parked at his girlfriend’s house. It had been a quiet day and not much fun. It was time to change that.

I stopped at the girlfriend’s house and asked if Bill was there, I had a package for him.

She had the strangest look on her face; about that time Bill came to the door and wanted to know how I knew he was there.

I mean his car was parked in the driveway. It’s not rocket science. Somehow the incident spread all over town and led for a week of excitement.

Gary has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

 

Seeing Eye Dogs

Seeing-Eye Dogs

Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman pincher and the other had a Chihuahua.

As they sauntered down the street, the one with the Doberman said to her friend, “Let’s go over to that bar and get something to drink.”

The one with the Chihuahua said, “We can’t go in there. We’ve got dogs with us.”

The one with the Doberman said, “Just follow my lead.” They walked over to the bar and the one with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.

The bouncer at the door said, “Sorry, Lady, no pets allowed.”

The woman with the Doberman said, “You don’t understand. This is my Seeing-Eye dog.”

The bouncer said, “A Doberman pinscher?”

The woman said, “Yes, they’re using them now. They’re very good.”

The bouncer said, “OK, come on in.”

The lady with the Chihuahua figured ‘what the heck’, so she put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.

Once again the bouncer said, “Sorry, lady, no pets allowed.”

The one with the Chihuahua said, “You don’t understand. This is my Seeing-Eye dog.”

The bouncer said, “A Chihuahua?”

The woman with the Chihuahua said, “A Chihuahua? They gave me a darn Chihuahua?!”

The Adventures of  a parcel redistribution specialist

Gary has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

What Do I Do Now? UPS

Written By: Gary Wonning

We normally delivered to the Ford Garage in Osgood from the alley that ran between Buckeye Street and Walnut Street, the next street west. Consequently, I would normally catch whatever houses I had parcels for that were across the alley from the Ford garage. This particular day two teenage daughters of the Baptist minister were sunbathing in their backyard, lying face down with their bikini tops unbuttoned. As I rushed across the back yard I noticed this peculiar circumstance and was in a quandary as what to do.

I tried to make some extra noise to alert them of my presence, but their radio was blaring from some teeny-bopper station and they never heard me. Getting closer, I sensed what was going to happen, but short of throwing a rock at them, I was at a loss as to what to do next.

Finally, the inevitable happened, they spotted me and jumping up and grabbing their bikini tops, while letting out a blood curling scream. I handed one of them the clipboard and pen, politely asked her to sign for the parcel, and quietly slunk off into the horizon. With memories and illusions that would last a lifetime, I never saw either of them again.

Gary has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

photo of sail boat in the Caribbean

Four mast Sail Boat

Peak Season Frustrations, UPS

Written By; Gary Wonning

One of my first years on the job, I arrived back at the center about five o’clock on Christmas Eve. I was looking forward to going home and enjoying the evening attending church and unwrapping gifts with my family. I hadn’t been home before dark for a couple of months.

Lying in the middle of the floor of the center were a stack of parcels about four feet tall. There had been a late feeder arrive in Indianapolis that morning and consequently the parcels had missed the morning sort. The parcels were unloaded and sent to the extended centers during the day, and were waiting for us when we returned.

We were to find anything in the stack that was on our delivery area and go back out and deliver them. Man, I would sooner get hit with a blivet stick than go back out there. My delivery area is thirty five miles south of here, and I live fifteen miles north. But I knew I couldn’t enjoy my Christmas if I knew there was a parcel for some little kid in that pile and he or she wasn’t going to be able to get it before Christmas.

Reluctantly, hoping against hope I began looking for something. Thankfully, I found nothing that was on my area. I did find a couple addressed to my home town, I picked them up, grabbed a couple of delivery sheets and headed off to Batesville in my pick-up truck, delivering them on my way home.

The forgotten gifts were all delivered that evening; some drivers didn’t get home until after nine pm.

The author has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

Safety First At UPS

Written By: Gary Wonning

Before a driver is set free on his own he must first undergo five days of driver training during which time a  driver supervisor rides with him every day and instructs him in not only correct delivery procedures but safe driving and safe work habits and practices as well.

I was a young know it all rebel and I decided I didn’t really have to follow all the rules. Joe Mulford, my center manager kept insisting in the necessity to back into a delivery stop before making the delivery. It was safer because the driver would have the big picture as he came to the stop and could see everything in the surrounding area, thus making it less likely he would unintentionally back into something. Plus, it would give the customer time to come to the door as they heard us backing into the driveway, thereby saving us time.

photo of the Pilons

The Pilons, historic landmark in St. Lucia

For some reason, I decided this was a rule I didn’t need to follow and kept pulling into driveways. Finally, after maybe a half dozen of these deliveries, he suddenly yelled,”Stop, Stop, you just ran over a kid.”

He then proceeded to stand about a foot away from me and chewed my butt for about five minutes. It brought back visions of basic training at Lackland Air Force Base. I never pulled into a driveway from that day forward, I’ve  been retired for twenty years, I still don’t pull in.

The author has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome