The Greek Priest

 

A Greek priest is driving down to New York to see a show, and he’s stopped in Connecticut for speeding.

The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath, sees an empty wine bottle on the floor, and asks, “Sir, have you been drinking?”

The minister replies, “Just water.”

The trooper asks, “Then, why do I smell wine?”

The minister looks down at the bottle and exclaims, “Good Lord, He’s done it again!”

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

Photography Prints

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

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Signs on Church Property

religious jokes to make you laugh your head off.

Signs on Church Property

“No God — No Peace. Know God — Know Peace.”
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“Free Trip to Heaven. Details Inside!”
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An ad for St.Joseph’s Episcopal Church has a picture of two hands  holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, “For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets.”
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“People are like tea bags — you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are.”
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“God so loved the world that He did not send a committee.”
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“When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out alright.”
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“Fight truth decay — study the Bible daily.”
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“Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives”
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“Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the  pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.”
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“Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.”
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“If you’re headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.”
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“If you don’t like the way you were born, try being born again.”
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“Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon.”
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“This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?” ———> (U R)
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“Forbidden fruit creates many jams.”
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“In the dark? Follow the Son.”
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“If you can’t sleep, don’t count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd.”

More jokes on my website.

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

The Chauffeur

The Chauffeur

The Pope just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Since he’d never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for a while.

The reluctant chauffeur pulled over along the roadside, climbed into the back of the limo, and the Pope took the wheel. The Pope then merged onto the highway and accelerated to over 90 mph to see what the limo could do.

Suddenly, the Pope noticed the blue light of the State Patrol in his side mirror, so he pulled over.

photo of Christ Church

Christ Church in Barbados

The trooper approached the limo, peered in through the windows, then said, “Just a moment please, I need to call in.”

The trooper called in and explained to the chief that he had a very important person pulled over for speeding.
“How do I handle this, chief?” asked the trooper.

“Is it the Governor?” questioned the chief.

“No! This guy is even more important!”

“Is it the President?” asked the chief.

“No! Even more important!”

“Well, who the heck is it?” screamed the chief.

“I don’t know, sir,” replied the trooper, “but he’s got the Pope as his chauffeur.”

a lutheran church against a sunny blue sky.

What is meant by the separation of church and state?

The blogger has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

photo of young living oils

Improve your health through essential oils and Isagenix.

You Might be in the Wrong Church

Photography Prints

YOUR FAVORITE ONLINE INSPIRATIONAL STORE

You have to pass through a metal detector to get inside.

The scripture lesson is on “Jonah the Shepherd Boy and
His Ark of Many Colors.”

The choir performs “A Mighty Fortress is Our God” – as a polka!

They believe that an elected official attending religious services
is a violation of the separation of Church and state.

A week before Christmas the pastor announces the church
will be “closed for the holidays.”

Everyone agrees the temperature in the Sanctuary is absolutely perfect!

The music director has you sing “Amazing Grace” in the
round (a la “row row row your boat”).

The church picnic will be held at KFC this year.

The sign out front says “Church-Lite: Home of the original ten
minute Sermonette, and the 7.5 Percent Tithe.”

Every illustration the preacher uses somehow refers to
“those hilarious Budweiser frogs”.

The missions budget just got cut in half, but the church
treasurer just bought a “kickin'” new Harley.

New “Purpose-Driven” mission statement includes vague
reference to jello-wrestling.

New head greeters: Mike Tyson and WWF President Vince McMahon.

On your second Sunday as a visitor they ask you to be their pastor.

On the offering envelopes is printed “Please make checks
payable directly to the pastor.”

The author has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

photo of young living oils

Improve your health through essential oils

a lutheran church against a sunny blue sky.

What is meant by the separation of church and state?

There has been much debate over the years about what the founding fathers meant about the separation of church and state. In recent times there has been much disinformation about how they actually believed, especially George Washington. In this short Ebook the author tries to explain how they actually felt.

Fidgety

Sell Art Online

Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, “After a worship service at First Baptist
Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year-old boy
told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet.

About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, ‘If you
don’t be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to
start his sermon all over again!

It worked.”

YOUR FAVORITE ONLINE INSPIRATIONAL STORE

The author has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

photo of young living oils

Improve your health through essential oils

a lutheran church against a sunny blue sky.

What is meant by the separation of church and state?

There has been much debate over the years about what the founding fathers meant about the separation of church and state. In recent times, there has been much disinformation about how they actually believed, especially George Washington. In this short Ebook the author tries to explain how they actually felt.

Seeing the Pope

Art Prints

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to his barber, who responded, “Why would anyone want to go there?

It’s crowded and dirty and full of Italians. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?

“We’re taking TWA,” was the reply. “We got a great rate!” “TWA!” exclaimed the barber. “That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they’re always late.

So, where are you staying in Rome?” “We’ll be at the downtown International Marriott.”

“That dump! That’s the worst hotel in Rome. The rooms are small, the service is ugly and they’re overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?”

“We’re going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope.” “That’s rich,” laughed the barber. “You and a million other people trying to see him. He’ll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You’re going to need it!”

A month later, the man again came in for his regular haircut. The barber asked him about his trip to Rome.

“It was wonderful,” explained the man, “not only were we on time in one of TWA’s brand new planes, but it
was overbooked so they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful
28-year-old stewardess who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel!

Well, it was great! They’d just finished a $25 million remodeling job and now it’s the finest hotel in the city.
They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the presidential suite at no extra charge!”

“Well,” muttered the barber, “I know you didn’t get to see the Pope.”

“Actually, we were quite lucky, for as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.

Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked in. As I knelt down he spoke a few words to me.”

“What’d he say?”

He said, “Where’d you get the crappy haircut?”

The author has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

photo of young living oils

Improve your health through essential oils

a lutheran church against a sunny blue sky.

What is meant by the separation of church and state?

There has been much debate over the years about what the founding fathers meant about the separation of church and state. In recent times there has been much disinformation about how they actually believed, especially George Washington. In this short Ebook the author tries to explain how they actually felt.

 

The Funeral

Photography Prints

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his
collar wilt.

YOUR GOTO STORE FOR INSPIRATIONAL PRODUCTS.

Apparently, his five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed,
they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.

The minister’s son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: “Glory be unto the Faaaather. .and unto the Sonnn ……and into the hole he gooooes.”

The author has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

photo of young living oils

Improve your health through essential oils

a lutheran church against a sunny blue sky.

What is meant by the separation of church and state?

There has been much debate over the years about what the founding fathers meant about the separation of church and state. In recent times there has been much disinformation about how they actually believed, especially George Washington. In this short Ebook the author tries to explain how they actually felt.

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