The Lawyer’s New Car

Art Prints

The Lawyer’s New Car

A very successful attorney parked his brand new Porsche in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.

But just as he started to get out, a truck came along too close and completely tore off the driver’s door.

Fortunately, a cop was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Porsche with his lights flashing.

But before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the attorney started screaming hysterically about how his Porsche, which he had just purchased the day before, was completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how any car body shop tried to make it new again.

After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe how materialistic you lawyers are,” he said. “You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life.”

“How can you say such a thing?” asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, “Don’t you even realize that your left arm is missing? It was severed when the truck hit you!”

“Oh, my God!!!” screamed the lawyer. “My Rolex!”

The author has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments welcome

Improve your health, Increase your wealth

Improve your health, Increase your wealth

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

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A Lawyer Makes it to Heaven

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A Lawyer Makes It To Heaven

Your favorite store for INSPIRATIONAL gifts.

A lawyer, a doctor, and a janitor die in a freak elevator accident and find themselves arriving at the Pearly Gates at the same time.

St. Peter explains, “We have limited space, so we’ve been deciding admission based on a trivia contest.”

St. Peter then turns to the janitor and asks “What was the name of the famous ship that hit an iceberg and sank, killing all those people?”

The janitor replies “The Titanic!”

“Very good,” says St. Peter, “you may enter.”

St. Peter then turns to the doctor and asks, “How many people died on that ship?”

The doctor replies “about fifteen hundred, give or take.”

“Close enough,” says St. Peter, “you may enter.”

St. Peter then turns to the lawyer and says, “Name ’em.”

The author has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments welcome

Improve your health, Increase your wealth

Improve your health, Increase your wealth

baby boomers

Each generation from the beginning of our country has contributed to what our country has become. By the same token, no one is perfect. Consequently, each generation has done and will continue to perform acts that it would have been better if some other course of action was taken.
The baby boomers have contributed much and have been blamed for the decline of America. What is the true story?

Gifts from the Caribbean Postcard
Gifts from the Caribbean Postcard by lifejourneysimages
Check out other Caribbean Postcards at zazzle.com

Predicting His Son's Profession

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Predicting His Son’s Profession

A Tennessee country preacher had a teenage son, and as he neared the end of high school it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men, the boy didn’t really know what he wanted to do, and he didn’t seem too concerned about it.

One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy’s room and placed on his study desk three items: a Bible, a silver dollar, and a bottle of whiskey.

“I’ll just hide behind the door,” the old preacher said to himself, “and when he comes home from school this afternoon, I’ll see which object he picks up. If it’s the Bible, he’s going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he’s going to be a businessman, and that would be OK too. But if he picks up the bottle, he’s going to be a no-good drunkard and, Lord, what a shame that would be.”

The older man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son’s footsteps as he entered the house and headed for his room. He tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the three items on the desk. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.

Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. His father, watching quietly, started to silently thank the Lord. But then his son picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket, and twisted the top off the bottle and took a big drink!

“Lord have mercy,” the old man whispered, “he’s gonna be a Congressman!”

 The author has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

Young Living photo

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

 

The Honest Lawyer

Art Prints

The Honest Lawyer

A woman with her own business was thriving based on her sterling reputation. When she decided she needed a lawyer to help her incorporate, she was worried that their typical reputation might stain hers, so she was carefully interviewing the available business lawyers.

“As I’m sure you can understand,” she started off with one of the first applicants, “in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question.” She leaned forward. “Mr. Peterson, are you an ‘honest’ lawyer?”

“Honest?” replied the prospect. “Let me tell you something about honest! Why, I’m so honest that my dad lent me $105,000 for my education and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case!”

“Impressive,” she said. “I think you just may have the job.”

But then she saw a suspicious twinkle in his eye.

“Just a minute,” she said. “What was your first case?”

“Well,” he said, “my dad sued me for the money.”

(Of course, that’s what gave him the title, “The Honest Lawyer”!)

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

church and state

There has been much debate over the years about what the founding fathers meant about the separation of church and state. In recent times there has been much disinformation about how they actually believed, especially George Washington. In this short Ebook the author tries to explain how they actually felt.

 

The Money in the Tool Shed

The Lawyer

The crime boss and his attorney meet with his accountant.
“Where’s the $3 million you embezzled from me?”
demands the gangster.

The accountant is silent.

“Where’s my $3 million?” the crime boss shouts.

The lawyer explains, “Sir, the man is deaf. Allow me to translate.”
So using sign language, the attorney asks the accountant
about the money, and the message is relayed back
that the accountant knows nothing about it.

Furious, the crime boss pulls out a revolver and puts it to
the deaf accountant’s head, screaming at the lawyer,
“Ask him again where my money is!”

“Okay! Okay!” the deaf accountant signs back.
“The money’s hidden behind the old toolshed in my back yard.”

“What did he say?” demands the enraged crime boss.

The attorney replies, “He says you don’t have the guts to
pull the trigger.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

money photography

Make Money doing what you love!

The Priest and the Lawyer

There is a truck driver driving along, and he stops and picks up a
priest to give him a ride.

He’s driving down the highway and he sees a lawyer along the side
of the road and thinks, “Hot! A lawyer that I could run over!” So he
speeds up and heads straight for him.

At the last second he remembers the priest with him. So he swerves
real quick to miss him, but still hears a thump. He looks behind, no
sign of the lawyer.

He says to the priest “Wow, that was a close one, I almost hit that
lawyer!”

The priest then replies “That’s ok son, I got him with my door.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

money photography

Make Money Doing What you Love

Law school Graduates

Law School Graduates

These were supposedly published by the Massachusetts Bar Association’s Lawyers Journal, listing them as questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses.

1. Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?

2. The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

3. Were you present when your picture was taken?

4. Were you alone or by yourself?

5. Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war? 

6. Did he kill you?

7. How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

8. You were there until the time you left, is that true?

9. How may times have you committed suicide?

10. So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
Yes.
And what were you doing at that time?

11. She had three children, right?
Yes.
How many were boys?
None.
Were there any girls?

12. You say the stairs went down to the basement?
Yes.
And these stairs, did they go up also?

13. Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you?
I went to Europe, Sir.
And you took your new wife?

14. How was your first marriage terminated?
By death.
And by whose death was it terminated?

15. Can you describe the individual?
He was about medium height and had a beard.
Was this a male, or a female?

16. Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

17. Doctor, how many autopsies have your performed on dead people?
All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

18. All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
Oral.

19. Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
No, you dummy, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

20. You were not shot in the fracas?
No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.

21. Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
I have been since early childhood.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

Australialife

Spend a month in the Australian Out Back