Modern Technology

 

photo of sail boat in the Caribbean

Four mast Sail Boat

More Modern Management Theory
A company had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Management said, “Someone might steal from it at night.” So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.

Then management said, “How does the watchman do his job without instruction?” So they created a planning department and hired two people: one person to write the instructions and one person to do time studies.

Then management said, “How will we know the night watchman is doing his tasks correctly?” So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people: one to do the studies and one to write the reports.

Then management said, “How are all these people going to get paid?” So they created positions for a timekeeper and a payroll officer and hired two more people to fill them.

Then management said, “Who will be accountable for all of these people?” So they created an administrative section and hired three people: an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.

Then management said, “We’ve had this command in operation for one year now and we’re $318,000 over budget. We have to cut back on overall costs.”

So they laid off the night watchman.

Gary has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

Science Facts

photo of sail boats

Sail Boat Races in Antigua

New Science Facts Discovered

Answers given by 11-year- olds on science exams:

Water is composed of two gins. Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure
gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
*
When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.
*
H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.
*
To collect fumes of sulphure, hold down a deacon over a flame in a
test tube.
*
When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
*
Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a
freestate.
*
Three kinds of blood vessels are arteried, vanes, and caterpillars.
*
Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
*
Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then
expectoration.
*
The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader.
*
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and
makes them perspire.
*
A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.
*
Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
*
The body consists of three parts – the brainium, the borax and the
abdominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax
contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominable cavity contains the
bowels, of which there are five – a,e,i,o,and u.
*
Planet: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
*
Rhubarb: a kind of celery gone bloodshot.
*
Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives.
*
Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is
affirmative or negative.

Gary has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

The Rabbi and the Priest

The Rabbi And The Priest
A priest and a rabbi were standing by the side of the road with a sign reading, “THE END IS NEAR! Turn yourself around now before it’s too late!”

. . .

They waited and waited for a car to come, but it was a lonely road, and it took awhile.

Finally, they heard a car coming, and they step out to the road to hold the sign between them to be sure it was clearly visible.

“Leave us alone, you religious nuts!” the driver yelled.

The road rager stomped on the gas and crashed through the sign, blowing it to pieces.

From around the curve, the two men of God hear screeching tires, then a moment of silence, and then a big splash.

The rabbi turns to the priest and asks, “Do you think the next sign we make should just say, ‘Bridge Out’?”

Gary has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

Snoring

Snoring

The high school coaches in St. Landry Parish Louisiana went to a coaches retreat.

To save money they had to room together.

No one wanted to room with coach Boudreaux because he snored so badly.

They decided it’s not fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time so they voted to take turns.

Coach Fontenot sleeps with him the first night and he comes to breakfast next morning his hair a mess, eyes all blood shot. They say, “Man, what happen to you?”

He says, “Man, that Boudreaux snores so loud, I watch him all night.”

Next night was coach Guidrys turn. In the morning, same thing – hair all standing up, eyes all blood shot. They say, “Man, what happened to you? You look awful!”

He say, “Man, no, that Boudreaux shake the roof. I watched him all night.”

Third night, coach Doucet turn. Next morning he come to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. “Good morning you all.”

They can’t believe! They say, “Man, what happened?”

He say, “Well, we get ready for bed. I go and tuck Boudreaux into bed
and kiss him good night. He watch me all night.”

Gary has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

Do Cats Go To Heaven

Do Cats Go to Heaven?

A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, “You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.”

The cat says, “Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.”God says,
“Say no more.” And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the
same offer that He made the cat. The mice said, “All our lives we’ve had to run. Cats, dogs and even women with
brooms have chased us. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn’t have to run anymore.”

God says, “Say no more.” And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.

About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow.
God gently wakes him and asks, “How are you doing?
Are you happy here?”

The cat yawns and stretches and says, “Oh, I’ve never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you’ve been sending over are the best!”

Gary has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

The Old Gas Station

The Old Gas Station

The service station trade was slow.
The owner sat around,
With sharpened knife and cedar stick.
Piled shavings on the ground.

No modern facilities had they,
The log across the rill,
Led to a shack, marked His and Hers,
That sat against the hill.

“Where is the ladies restroom, sir?”
The owner leaning back,
Said not a word but whittled on,
And nodded toward the shack.

With quickened step she entered there,
But only stayed a minute,
Until she screamed, just like a snake,
Or spider might be in it.

With startled look and beet red face,
She bounded through the door,
And headed quickly for the car.
Just like three gals before.

She missed the foot log — jumped the stream,
The owner gave a shout,
As her silk stockings, down at her knees,
Caught on a sassafras sprout.

She tripped and fell — got up,
and then In obvious disgust,
Ran to the car, stepped on the gas,
And faded in the dust.

Of course we all desired to know,
What made the gals all do,
The things they did, and then we found,
The whittling owner knew.

A speaking system he’d devised,
To make the thing complete,
He tied a speaker on the wall,
Beneath the toilet seat.

He’d wait until the gals got set,
And then the devilish guy,
Would stop his whittling long enough,
To speak into the mike.

And as she sat, a voice below,
Struck terror, fright and fear,
“Will you please use the other hole,
We’re painting under here.

The blogger has been a writer/photographer for

over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape

photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States,

as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as

the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the

opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

 

Two Cows

Two Cows

Democrat:

You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax.

The people you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbor.
You feel righteous.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

Socialist:

You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

Republican:

You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.
So?

Communist:

You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

Capitalism, American Style:

You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

Democracy, American Style:

You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

Bureaucracy, American Style:

You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.

American Corporation:

You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the second one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

French Corporation:

You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch.
Life is good.

Japanese Corporation:

You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary
cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

German Corporation:

You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer,
give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year. 

Italian Corporation:

You have two cows but you don’t know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

Russian Corporation:

You have two cows. You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many
cows you really have.

Taliban Corporation:

You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don’t milk them because you cannot touch any creature’s private parts. Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew
them up while they were in the hospital.

Polish Corporation:

You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

Florida Politics:

You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can’t figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best-looking one. 

The blogger has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome