Idiot Sightings

Photography Prints

 

Sighting #1:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee asked, “Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?”

I said, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?” He smiled and nodded knowingly, “That’s why we ask.”

Sighting #2:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street.

I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I
explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red.

She responded, appalled, “What on earth are blind people doing driving?”

Sighting #3:

At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear co-worker who is leaving the company due to “right-sizing,” our manager spoke
up and said, “This is fun. We should have lunch like this more often.”

Not another word was spoken. We just looked at each other like deer staring into the headlights of an approaching truck.

Sighting #4:

I worked with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her could not understand why her system would not turn on.

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

photo of El Morro

The beautiful island of Puerto Rico

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

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Blonde Jokes, Old Joke, New Twist

A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes.

They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting. 51 days, 51 days, 51 days

Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows. 51 days, 51 days, 51 days.
Two more blondes show up and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof. 51 days, 51 days, 51 days.

Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the table erupts.

Up jump the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high fives, all the while chanting 51 days, 51 days, 51 days.

The bartender can’t contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table.

There in the center is a beautifully framed child’s puzzle of the “Cookie Monster.”

When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks one of the blondes. “What’s all the chanting and celebration about?”

The blonde who brought in the picture pipes up, “Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they make fun of us, so we decided to set the record straight.

Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together.

The side of the box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in 51 days'”.

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Sell Art Online

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way, he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

My Forgetter

photo of green stairs

Beautiful courtyard in St. Martin

My Forgetter

My forgetter’s getting better
But my rememberer is broke
To you that may seem funny
But, to me, that is no joke
For when I’m “here” I’m wondering
If I really should be “there”
And, when I try to think it through,
I haven’t got a prayer!
Oft times I walk into a room,
Say, “What am I here for?”
I wrack my brain, but all in vain
A zero, is my score.
At times I put something away
Where it is safe, but, Gee!
The person it is safest from
Is, generally, me!
When shopping I may see someone,
Say “Hi” and have a chat,
Then, when the person walks away
I ask myself “who was that?”
Yes, my forgetter’s getting better
While my rememberer is broke,
And it’s driving me plumb crazy
And that isn’t any joke.

capiture of a ups driver making a delivery

A UPS driver making a delivery to a beautiful blonde

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way, he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

 

Things You Learn From Your Kids

photo fo two people, a child and an adult looking at a sunset over the ocean

Life was a lot slower and simpler in the fifties and sixties.

1. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape.

2. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20-foot room.

3. When you hear the toilet flush and the words “Uh-oh,” it’s already too late.

4. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

5. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.

6. If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak – it explodes.

7. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.

8. LEGOS will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.

9. Super glue is forever.

10. McGyver can teach us many things we don’t want to know.

11. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.

12. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

13. VCR’s do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

14. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.

15. The fire department in San Jose has at least a 5 minute response time.

16. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.

17. It will however make cats dizzy.

18. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way, he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Making Babies

 

photo fo two people, a child and an adult looking at a sunset over the ocean

Life was a lot slower and simpler in the fifties and sixties.

A second grader came home from school and said to her mother,
“Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.”

The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
“That’s interesting,” she said, “How do you make babies?”

“It’s simple,” replied the girl. “You just change ‘y’ to ‘i’ and add ‘es’.”

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

 

A Phoenix Blessing

A Phoenix Blessing

Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry.
Please keep it cool in mid-July.

Bless the walls where termites dine, while ants and roaches march in time.

Bless our yard where spiders pass the fire ant castles in the grass.

Bless the garage, a home to please carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.

Bless the love bugs, two by two, the gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.

Millions of creatures that fly or crawl, in Texas, Lord, you’ve put them all!!

But this is home, and here we’ll stay, So thank you Lord, for insect spray.

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

The Oil Shortage

The life and Times of a Parcel Redistribution Specialist

The Oil Shortage

There are a lot of folks who can’t understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in the USA.

Well, there’s a very simple answer:

We couldn’t check it out…
.
.
All the dipsticks…. are in Washington, DC!

Gary has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome