Two Old Friends

capiture of a ups driver making a delivery

A UPS driver making a delivery to a beautiful blonde

Two old friends met one day after many years. One attended college, and now was very successful. The other had not attended college and never had much ambition.

The successful one said, “How has everything been going with you?”

“Well, one day I opened the Bible at random, and dropped my finger on a word and it was oil. So, I invested in oil, and boy, did the oil wells gush. Then another day I dropped my finger on another word and it was gold. So, I invested in gold and those mines really produced. Now, I’m as rich as Rockefeller.”

The successful friend was so impressed that he rushed to his hotel, grabbed a Gideon Bible, flipped it open, and dropped his finger on a page. He opened his eyes and his finger rested on the words, “Chapter Eleven.”

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

 

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You Know You’re a Redneck When:

 

You Know You’re a Redneck When…(Part 3)

Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand..

You sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to fill your deer quota..

You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side..

The biggest city you’ve ever been to is Walmart..

Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV..

You thought the Unibomber was a wrestler..

You’ve used your ironing board as a buffet table..

You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart..

Your neighbors think you’re a detective because a cop always brings you home..

A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of improvement..

You’ve used a toilet brush as a back scratcher..

You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty..

You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph..

Somebody tells you that you’ve got something in your teeth and you take them out to see what it is.

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

photo fo two people, a child and an adult looking at a sunset over the ocean

Life was a lot slower and simpler in the fifties and sixties.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

You Know You’ve Had Too Much of the 90s if

You Know You’ve Had Enough of the 90’s When…

…you tried to enter your password on the microwave.
*
…you now think of three espressos as “getting wasted.”
*
…you haven’t played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.
*
…you have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
*
…you e-mail your son in his room to tell him that dinner is ready, and he e-mails you back “What’s for dinner?”
*
…your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.
*
…you chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven’t spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.
*
…you didn’t give your valentine a card this year, but you posted one for your e-mail buddies via a web page.
*
…your daughter just bought a C.D. of all the records your college roommate used to play.
*
…you check your blow dryer to see if it’s Y2K compliant.
*
…your grandmother clogs up your e-mail Inbox, asking you to send her JPEG files of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.
*
…you pull up in your own driveway and use your cellphone to see if anyone is home.

photo fo two people, a child and an adult looking at a sunset over the ocean

Life was a lot slower and simpler in the fifties and sixties.

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

I’ll Drink to That

 

I’ll Drink to That!

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”

With even greater emphasis he said, “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”

And then finally, he said, “And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.” He sat down.

The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, “For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365:

“Shall We Gather at the River.”

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

 

My Kid Said That

 

 

One Sunday in a Midwest city a young child was “acting up” during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to
maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally the father picked the little fellow up and walked
sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer the little one called loudly to the congregation,
“Pray for me! Pray for me!”
*
A daddy was listening to his child say his prayer “Dear Harold”.        At this, dad interrupted and said, “Wait a minute, How come you called God, ‘Harold'”? The little boy looked up and said, “That’s what they call Him in church. You know the prayer we say, “Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy name.”
*
And this particular four-year-old prayed: “And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.”
*
During the minister’s prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Gary’s mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence, and after church, asked: “Gary, whatever made you do such a thing?” Gary answered soberly: “I asked God to teach me to whistle…
And He just then did!”
*
One night Mike’s parents overheard this prayer. “Now I lay me down to rest, and hope to pass tomorrow’s test, if I should die before I wake, that’s one less test I have to take.”
*
A five-year-old said grace at family dinner one night. “Dear God, thank you for these pancakes.” When he concluded, his parents asked him why he thanked God for pancakes when they were having chicken. He smiled and said, “I thought I’d see if He was paying attention tonight.”
*
A little boy’s prayer. “Dear God, please take care of my daddy and my mommy and my sister and my brother and my doggy and me. Oh, please take care of yourself, God. If anything happens to you, we’re gonna be in a big mess.”
*
A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy: “So your mother says your prayers for you each night? Very commendable. What does she say?” The little boy replied, “Thank God he’s in bed!”
*
A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?” I wouldn’t know what to say,” the little girl replied. “Just say what you hear Mommy say, ” the mother said. The little girl bowed her head and said, “Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?
*
Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a while he emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it over and then said a prayer. “Fine,” said the pleased mother. “If you ask God to help you not misbehave, He will help you.” “Oh, I didn’t ask Him to help me not misbehave,” said Johnny. “I asked Him to help you put up with me.”
*
A little boy was overheard praying: “Lord, if You can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having a real good time like I am!”

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Rocket Scientists

Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military
jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity.
The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements
were made. But when the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into
the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, crashed through the control console, snapped the engineer’s backrest in
two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin.

Horrified Britons sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield, and begged the U.S. scientists for suggestions.

NASA’s response was just one sentence, “Thaw the chicken.”

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

The Atheist and the Loch Ness Monster

photo fo two people, a child and an adult looking at a sunset over the ocean

Life was a lot slower and simpler in the fifties and sixties.

The Athiest and the Loch Ness Monster

An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster.

In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air then opened its mouth to swallow both.

As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, “Oh, my God! Help me!”

At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place and, as the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down
from the clouds.

“I thought you didn’t believe in Me!”

“Come on God, give me a break!,” the man pleaded. “Two minutes ago I didn’t believe in the Loch Ness monster either!”

Then the Atheist continues, “God, please let the Loch Ness Monster become religious.”

God replies, “So be it.”

The scene starts up, atheist falling.

The Loch Ness Monster folds his claws together and says,”Lord, I thank you for this dinner I am about to receive.”

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.