Humor in the Philosophy Class

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Philosophy Class

A college student was in a philosophy class, where there was a class discussion about whether or not God exists, The professor had the following logic:

“Has anyone in this class heard God?” Nobody spoke.

“Has anyone in this class touched God?” Again, nobody spoke.

“Has anyone in this class seen God?” When nobody spoke for the third time, he simply stated, “Then there is no God.”

The student did not like the sound of this at all, and asked for permission to speak. The professor granted it, and the student stood up and asked the following questions of his classmates:

“Has anyone in this class heard our professor’s brain?”
Silence.

“Has anyone in this class touched our professor’s brain?”
Absolute silence.

“Has anyone in this class seen our professor’s brain?”

When nobody in the class dared to speak, the student concluded, “Then, according to our professor’s logic, it must be true that our professor
has no brain!”

The student received an “A” in the class.

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

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The Farmer and the Dog

photo fo two people, a child and an adult looking at a sunset over the ocean

Life was a lot slower and simpler in the fifties and sixties.

The Farmer and his Dog

A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside except for a pet dog he doted on. The dog finally died and Muldoon went to the parish priest, saying “Father, the dog is dead. Could you possibly be saying a mass for the poor creature?”

Father Patrick told the farmer “No, we can’t have services for an animal in the church, but I’ll tell you what, there’s a new denomination down the road apiece, and no telling what they believe in, but maybe they’ll do something for the animal.”

Muldoon said “I’ll go right now. By the way, do you think $50,000 is enough to donate for the service?”

Father Patrick replied, “Why didn’t you tell me the dog was Catholic.”

Photography Prints

 

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

You Know You’re Getting Old When You Can Remember

photo fo two people, a child and an adult looking at a sunset over the ocean

Life was a lot slower and simpler in the fifties and sixties.

You Know You’re Getting Old When You Can Remember…

Being sent to the drugstore to test vacuum tubes for the TV.
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When Kool-Aid was the only other drink for kids, other than milk and sodas.
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When there were two types of sneakers for boys.
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When boys couldn’t wear anything but leather shoes to school.

When it took five minutes for the TV to warm up.
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When all your friends got their hair cut at the kitchen table.
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When nearly everyone’s mom was at home when the kids got there.
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When nobody owned a pure-bred dog.
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When a dime was a decent allowance, and a quarter a huge bonus.
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When you’d reach into a muddy gutter for a penny.
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When girls neither dated nor kissed until late high school, if then.
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When your mom wore nylons that came in two pieces.
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When all your teachers wore either neckties or had their hair done, everyday.
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When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped,
without asking, for free, every time. And you got trading stamps to boot!
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When laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the
box.
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When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him, or use him to carry
groceries, and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.
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When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a
real restaurant with your parents.
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When they threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed–and did!
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When being sent to the principal’s office was nothing compared to the fate
that awaited a misbehaving student at home.
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When women were called, “Mrs. John Smith,” instead of their own name.

Gary has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

The Christian Pet

photo of a distinguished older gentleman

Wisdom lost through the ages, common sense is no longer common.

This Christian couple felt it important to own an equally Christian pet.
So, they went shopping. At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot.
When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied
equally fast, using his paws with dexterity. They were impressed, purchased the animal, and went home.

That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new dog and his major skills, they called the dog and showed off a little.
The friends were impressed, and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks, as well. This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn’t thought about “normal” tricks.
Well, they said, “Let’s try this out.”
Once more they called the dog, and they clearly pronounced the command, “Heel!”

Quick as a wink, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the man’s forehead, closed his eyes in concentration, and bowed his head.

 

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

God:Are You Listening

God, Are You Listening?

A man was walking through a forest pondering life. He walked, pondered, walked, and pondered. He felt very close to nature and even close to God. He felt so close to God that he felt if he spoke God would listen.
So he asked, “God, are you listening?”

And God replied, “Yes my son, I am here.”

The man stopped and pondered some more.

He looked towards the sky and said, “God, what is a million years to you?”

God replied, “Well my son, a second to me is like a million years to you.”

So the man continued to walk and to ponder… walk and ponder… Then he looked to the sky again and said, “God, what is a million dollars to you?”

And God replied, “My son, my son…a penny to me is like a million dollars to you. It means almost nothing to me. It does not even have a value it is so little.”

The man looked down, pondered a bit and then looked up to the sky and said, “God, can I have a million dollars?”

And God replied, “In a second.”

capiture of a ups driver making a delivery

A UPS driver making a delivery to a beautiful blonde

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Elementary My Dear Watson

 

 

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.”

“What does that tell you?”

Watson pondered for a minute. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.

Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?”

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.”Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent.”

 

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Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Things You Don’t Want to Hear During Surgery

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Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
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Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.
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Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?
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Hand me that… uh… that uh… thingie…
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Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
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Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this
stuff before?
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There go the lights again…
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Ya’ know… there’s big money in kidneys… and this
guy’s got two of ’em.
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Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
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Could you stop that thing from beating? It’s throwing
my concentration off.
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What’s this doing here?
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I hate it when they’re missing stuff in here.
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That’s cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
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Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
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Sterile, shcmerle. The floor’s clean, right?
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OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a
freak of nature.
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Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
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Don’t worry. I think it is sharp enough.
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What do you mean, “You want a divorce”!
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FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
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Rats! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
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Isn’t this the one with the really lousy insurance?

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

 

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.