School Voice Mails

photo of tiny church

Tiny Church on Half Moon Cay

We have employed a new voice mail system and would like the staff to have knowledge of how it operates.
When you are dialing school, please call______________.

You will then be answered by a cheery voice from us that will give you a menu of options to meet your needs.

These are:

To lie about why your child is absent Press 1
To make excuses for why your child did not do his work Press 2
To complain about what we do Press 3
To cuss out staff members Press 4
To ask why you didn’t get needed information that was in your newsletter and several bulletins mailed to you Press 5
If you want us to raise your child Press 6
If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone Press 7
If you really have an emergency, dial 9-1-1 because all these other
lines will be busy.

The blogger has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

Christmas Shopping

Written By: Gary Wonning

In those days, living in the country as we did, there were no large department stores nearby. I don’t remember ever being in a large store until I was in my teens.

Therefore, our Christmas shopping was out of a Sears and Roebuck catalog. I couldn’t wait until the Christmas catalog arrived in mid-October and would anxiously shuffle through it to find things Santa could bring. Of course, I was always threatened, if I misbehaved, Santa would bring a lump of coal, It seemed there was always someone we knew would get lumps of coal on Christmas morning instead of presents.

Relive live life in the fifties

photo fo two people, a child and an adult looking at a sunset over the ocean

Life was a lot slower and simpler in the fifties and sixties.

The author has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

photo of the Pilons

The Pilons, historic landmark in St. Lucia

Peak Season Frustrations, UPS

Written By; Gary Wonning

One of my first years on the job, I arrived back at the center about five o’clock on Christmas Eve. I was looking forward to going home and enjoying the evening attending church and unwrapping gifts with my family. I hadn’t been home before dark for a couple of months.

Lying in the middle of the floor of the center were a stack of parcels about four feet tall. There had been a late feeder arrive in Indianapolis that morning and consequently the parcels had missed the morning sort. The parcels were unloaded and sent to the extended centers during the day, and were waiting for us when we returned.

We were to find anything in the stack that was on our delivery area and go back out and deliver them. Man, I would sooner get hit with a blivet stick than go back out there. My delivery area is thirty five miles south of here, and I live fifteen miles north. But I knew I couldn’t enjoy my Christmas if I knew there was a parcel for some little kid in that pile and he or she wasn’t going to be able to get it before Christmas.

Reluctantly, hoping against hope I began looking for something. Thankfully, I found nothing that was on my area. I did find a couple addressed to my home town, I picked them up, grabbed a couple of delivery sheets and headed off to Batesville in my pick-up truck, delivering them on my way home.

The forgotten gifts were all delivered that evening; some drivers didn’t get home until after nine pm.

The author has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

The Depressed Dog

The Power of Microbiology

There was once a veterinarian who loved to hack gene sequences. One day he successfully grafted pieces of cantaloupe DNA to the DNA of a dog zygote.

The engineered zygote soon developed into a little puppy. The result was far less dramatic than one might expect. The animal was recognizably canine, if tiny and rolly poly. Its fur had an overall orange tint. The vet raised the puppy to adulthood and all was generally fine, though the animal was rather small and rotund. The veterinarian noticed that his dog was becoming lethargic and increasingly morose. Being concerned with the animal’s overall health and mental well-being, the vet tried many things to cure his dog’s apparent depression. After all, he felt guilty that its rowing languishment could be the direct result of his genetic experimentation. He tried altering the animal’s diet, its exercise, and its play, but nothing seemed to help.

Finally, he took the dog to an animal psychiatrist. The vet sat in the waiting room while the orange tinted dog was in with the animal counselor.

Finally, the door opened, and the veterinarian rose to his feet. The psychiatrist came out with the dog. “Tell me, Doctor. What’s wrong?

Is my dog going to be okay?”

“Don’t worry, Doctor. He’ll be fine. He’s just a little melon collie.”

The blogger has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

The Netherlands Flag

photo of the pyramids at sunrise

The sun rises over the Egyptian plain

The Netherlands Flag

A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in
the Netherlands flag.

“Our flag symbolizes our taxes,” he said. “We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue
after we pay them.”

“That’s the same with us,” the American said, “only we see stars, too.”

capiture of a ups driver making a delivery

A UPS driver making a delivery to a beautiful blonde

The blogger has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

Yo Quiero Liver and Cheese

Yo Quiero Liver and Cheese

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman, and a Bulldog are in a doggie bar having a cool drink when a good-looking
female Collie comes up to them and says, “Whoever can creatively say liver and cheese in a sentence can have
me.”

So, the Doberman quickly says, “I love liver and cheese.”

The Collie remarks, “That’s just not good enough.”

The Bulldog says, “I hate liver and cheese.”

The Collie remarks, “That’s not creative.”

Finally, the Chihuahua speaks out, “Liver alone…
cheese mine.”

The blogger has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

The Greatest Pet Ever

photo of sail boats

Sail Boat Races in Antigua

The Greatest Pet Ever!

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything.

The shop owner suggests a faithful dog.

The man replies, “Come on, a dog?”

The owner says, “How about a cat?”

The man replies, “No way! A cat certainly can’t do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!”

The shop owner thinks for a minute, then says, “I’ve got it!
A centipede!”

The man says, “A centipede? I can’t imagine a centipede doing everything, but okay… I’ll try a centipede.”

He gets the centipede home and says to the centipede, “Clean the
kitchen.”

Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and… it’s immaculate! All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried,
and put away; the counter-tops cleaned; the appliances sparkling; the floor waxed. He’s absolutely amazed.

He says to the centipede, “Go clean the living room.”

Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed; the furniture cleaned and dusted; the pillows on the sofa plumped; plants watered. The man thinks to himself, “This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. This really is a pet that can do everything!”

Next, he says to the centipede, “Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper.”

The centipede walks out the door. 10 minutes later…no centipede. 20 minutes later… no centipede. 30 minutes later…no centipede. By this point, the man is wondering what’s going on. So he goes to the front door, opens it… and there’s the centipede sitting right outside.

The man says, “Hey!! I sent you down to the corner store 45 minutes ago to get me a newspaper. What’s the matter?!”

The centipede says, “I’m goin’! I’m goin’! I’m just putting on my shoes!”

capiture of a ups driver making a delivery

A UPS driver making a delivery to a beautiful blonde

The blogger has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome