You Know You’re On A No Frills Airline When

Relive the Glorious days of yesteryear

photo fo two people, a child and an adult looking at a sunset over the ocean

Life was a lot slower and simpler in the fifties and sixties.

You Know You’re on a “No Frills” Airline When…

They don’t sell tickets, they sell chances.
*
All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.
*
Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.
*
You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.
*
Before you take off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.
*
The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.
*
When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.
*
The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.
*
The ground crew uses jumper cables and an old pickup truck to start the
engines.
*
You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he sez, “Just once.”

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Advertisements

You Know You’re in Phoenix in July when

 

You Know You’re in Phoenix in July When…

The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

You can make sun tea instantly.

You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.

You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.

You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and
end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?”

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one
out and add butter, salt and pepper.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from
laying boiled eggs.

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

Gary has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, while studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America and the aborigines of

Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has observed that many of the forgotten cultures had spiritual beliefs that were stronger than ours in modern times.

While we have advanced technically far superior to those that came before us, we have lagged behind in spiritual knowledge.

For us to advance as the human race, we need to combine the spiritual knowledge of those that came before us, not only that of the ancients but the knowledge of our direct ancestors as well, with the technical knowledge we have today for us to propel into the twenty-first century and beyond.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

 

Photography Prints

You Know When You’re Living in A Small Town

You Know You’re From a Small Town If…

You can name everyone you graduated with.

You ever went to parties at a pasture, barn, or in the middle of a dirt road.

You used to drag “main”.

You said a cuss word and your parents knew within the hour.

You ever went cow-tipping or snipe hunting.

School gets canceled for state events.

It was cool to date someone from the neighboring town.

The whole school went to the same party after graduation.

You think kids that ride skateboards are weird.

The town next to you is considered “trashy” or “snooty,” but is actually just like your town.

Getting paid minimum wage is considered a raise.

You refer to anyone with a house newer than 1980 as the “rich people.”

The people in the city dress funny, then you pick-up on the trend two years later.

Anyone you want can be found at either the Dairy Queen or the feed store.

You see at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town.

Directions are given using “the” stop light as a reference.

You have ever taken a trailer or dog to school on a daily basis.

You know what 4-H is.

You decide to walk somewhere for exercise and 5 people pull over and ask if you need a ride.

You can charge at all the local stores.

The closest McDonald’s is 45 miles away. So is the closest mall.

photo fo two people, a child and an adult looking at a sunset over the ocean

Life was a lot slower and simpler in the fifties and sixties.

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way, he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Church Bulletin Blunders

Sell Art Online

 

This is a compilation of actual Church Bulletins and Service
bloopers:

Our next song is “Angels We Have Heard Get High”.
*
Don’t let worry kill you–let the church help.
*
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
*
For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
*
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
*
Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights. She’s used the program herself and has been growing like crazy!
*
The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
*
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
*
Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social.
All ladies giving milk will please come early.
*
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
*
The service will close with Little Drops of Water. One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
*
Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the carpet should come forward and do so.
*
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

Thursday night–Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
*
Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
*
The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
*
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.
*
During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when A. B. Doe supplied our pulpit.
*
The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.
*
The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Shirley Green, who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.
*
The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet” in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
*
The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
*
Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
*
Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.
*
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

photo of Siesta Key beach

A photo story of the sunshine state, Florida

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Everybody Knows Bubba

photo fo two people, a child and an adult looking at a sunset over the ocean

Life was a lot slower and simpler in the fifties and sixties.

Everybody Knows Bubba

Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.”

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?” “Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.”

So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, “Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!” Although impressed, Bubba’s boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba’s knowing Cruise was just lucky.

“No, no, just name anyone else,” Bubba says. “President Trump,” his boss quickly retorts. “Yes,” Bubba says, “I know him, let’s fly out to Washington.” And off they go. At the White House, Trump spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, “Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let’s
have a cup of coffee first and catch up.”

Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.

“The Pope,” his boss replies. “Sure!” says Bubba. “My folks are from Poland, and I’ve known the Pope a long time.” Off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, “This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out
on the balcony with the Pope.”

Bubba disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. By the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss’ side, Bubba asks him, “What happened?” His boss looks up and says, “I was doing fine until you and the
Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, ” Who’s that on the balcony with Bubba?”

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Rejuvenate your life with Young Living

Humor in the Philosophy Class

Sell Art Online

 

Philosophy Class

A college student was in a philosophy class, where there was a class discussion about whether or not God exists, The professor had the following logic:

“Has anyone in this class heard God?” Nobody spoke.

“Has anyone in this class touched God?” Again, nobody spoke.

“Has anyone in this class seen God?” When nobody spoke for the third time, he simply stated, “Then there is no God.”

The student did not like the sound of this at all, and asked for permission to speak. The professor granted it, and the student stood up and asked the following questions of his classmates:

“Has anyone in this class heard our professor’s brain?”
Silence.

“Has anyone in this class touched our professor’s brain?”
Absolute silence.

“Has anyone in this class seen our professor’s brain?”

When nobody in the class dared to speak, the student concluded, “Then, according to our professor’s logic, it must be true that our professor
has no brain!”

The student received an “A” in the class.

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

The Farmer and the Dog

photo fo two people, a child and an adult looking at a sunset over the ocean

Life was a lot slower and simpler in the fifties and sixties.

The Farmer and his Dog

A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside except for a pet dog he doted on. The dog finally died and Muldoon went to the parish priest, saying “Father, the dog is dead. Could you possibly be saying a mass for the poor creature?”

Father Patrick told the farmer “No, we can’t have services for an animal in the church, but I’ll tell you what, there’s a new denomination down the road apiece, and no telling what they believe in, but maybe they’ll do something for the animal.”

Muldoon said “I’ll go right now. By the way, do you think $50,000 is enough to donate for the service?”

Father Patrick replied, “Why didn’t you tell me the dog was Catholic.”

Photography Prints

 

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.