You Know You’re Getting Old When You Can Remember

photo fo two people, a child and an adult looking at a sunset over the ocean

Life was a lot slower and simpler in the fifties and sixties.

You Know You’re Getting Old When You Can Remember…

Being sent to the drugstore to test vacuum tubes for the TV.
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When Kool-Aid was the only other drink for kids, other than milk and sodas.
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When there were two types of sneakers for boys.
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When boys couldn’t wear anything but leather shoes to school.

When it took five minutes for the TV to warm up.
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When all your friends got their hair cut at the kitchen table.
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When nearly everyone’s mom was at home when the kids got there.
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When nobody owned a pure-bred dog.
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When a dime was a decent allowance, and a quarter a huge bonus.
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When you’d reach into a muddy gutter for a penny.
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When girls neither dated nor kissed until late high school, if then.
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When your mom wore nylons that came in two pieces.
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When all your teachers wore either neckties or had their hair done, everyday.
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When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped,
without asking, for free, every time. And you got trading stamps to boot!
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When laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the
box.
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When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him, or use him to carry
groceries, and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.
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When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a
real restaurant with your parents.
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When they threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed–and did!
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When being sent to the principal’s office was nothing compared to the fate
that awaited a misbehaving student at home.
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When women were called, “Mrs. John Smith,” instead of their own name.

Gary has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

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The Christian Pet

photo of a distinguished older gentleman

Wisdom lost through the ages, common sense is no longer common.

This Christian couple felt it important to own an equally Christian pet.
So, they went shopping. At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot.
When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied
equally fast, using his paws with dexterity. They were impressed, purchased the animal, and went home.

That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new dog and his major skills, they called the dog and showed off a little.
The friends were impressed, and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks, as well. This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn’t thought about “normal” tricks.
Well, they said, “Let’s try this out.”
Once more they called the dog, and they clearly pronounced the command, “Heel!”

Quick as a wink, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the man’s forehead, closed his eyes in concentration, and bowed his head.

 

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

God:Are You Listening

God, Are You Listening?

A man was walking through a forest pondering life. He walked, pondered, walked, and pondered. He felt very close to nature and even close to God. He felt so close to God that he felt if he spoke God would listen.
So he asked, “God, are you listening?”

And God replied, “Yes my son, I am here.”

The man stopped and pondered some more.

He looked towards the sky and said, “God, what is a million years to you?”

God replied, “Well my son, a second to me is like a million years to you.”

So the man continued to walk and to ponder… walk and ponder… Then he looked to the sky again and said, “God, what is a million dollars to you?”

And God replied, “My son, my son…a penny to me is like a million dollars to you. It means almost nothing to me. It does not even have a value it is so little.”

The man looked down, pondered a bit and then looked up to the sky and said, “God, can I have a million dollars?”

And God replied, “In a second.”

capiture of a ups driver making a delivery

A UPS driver making a delivery to a beautiful blonde

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Elementary My Dear Watson

 

 

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.”

“What does that tell you?”

Watson pondered for a minute. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.

Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?”

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.”Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent.”

 

Sell Art Online

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Things You Don’t Want to Hear During Surgery

Sell Art Online

 

Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
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Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.
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Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?
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Hand me that… uh… that uh… thingie…
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Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
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Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this
stuff before?
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There go the lights again…
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Ya’ know… there’s big money in kidneys… and this
guy’s got two of ’em.
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Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
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Could you stop that thing from beating? It’s throwing
my concentration off.
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What’s this doing here?
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I hate it when they’re missing stuff in here.
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That’s cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
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Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
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Sterile, shcmerle. The floor’s clean, right?
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OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a
freak of nature.
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Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
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Don’t worry. I think it is sharp enough.
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What do you mean, “You want a divorce”!
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FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
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Rats! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
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Isn’t this the one with the really lousy insurance?

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

 

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Just Follow the Directions

 

The following are actual instructions found on the named items:

ON HAIRDRYER INSTRUCTIONS: Do not use while sleeping.

ON A BAG OF FRITOS: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.

ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: Directions: Use like regular soap.

ON A FROZEN DINNER: Serving suggestion: Defrost.

ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX: Fits one head.

ON TESCO’S TIRIMISU DESERT: Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the
bottom of the box.)

ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING: Product will be hot after heating

ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON: Do not Iron clothes on body

ON BOOTS CHILDRENS COUGH MEDICINE: Do not drive car or operate
machinery

ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID): Warning: may cause drowsiness

ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE: Warning keep out of children

ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS: For indoor or
outdoor use only.

ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR: Not to be used for the other use

ON SAINSBURY’S PEANUTS: Warning: contains nuts

ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS: Instructions: open packet,
eat nuts.

ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

Art Prints

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

photos of the US virgin islands

The beautiful Islands of Saint Thomas and Saint John

You Know You’re not a Kid anymore when

 

You Know You’re Not a Kid Anymore When…

You’re asleep, but others worry that you’re dead.
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You can live without sex but not without glasses.
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Your back goes out more than you do.
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You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
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You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
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You are proud of your lawnmower.
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Your best friend is dating someone half his age…and isn’t breaking any laws.
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You call Olan Mills before they call you.
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Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
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You sing along with the elevator music.
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You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
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You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
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You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.
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You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
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People call at 9:00 pm and ask, “Did I wake you?”
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You have a dream about prunes.
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You answer a question with, “Because I said so!”
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You send money to PBS.
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You still buy records, and you think a CD is a certificate of deposit.
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The end of your tie doesn’t come anywhere near the top of you pants.
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You take a metal detector to the beach.

Art Prints

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You wear black socks with sandals.
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You know what the word “equity” means.
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You can’t remember the last time you lay on the floor to watch television.
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Your ears are hairer than your head.
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You talk about “good grass”, and you’re referring to someone’s lawn.
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You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
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You got cable for the weather channel.
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You can go bowling without drinking.
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You have a party, and the neighbors don’t even realize it.

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

photo fo two people, a child and an adult looking at a sunset over the ocean

Life was a lot slower and simpler in the fifties and sixties.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.