UPS Arizona style

capiture of a ups driver making a delivery

A UPS driver making a delivery to a beautiful blonde

Written by Gary Wonning

I was about to see another side of UPS. My aunt and uncle lived in Phoenix Arizona so I decided to go visit them in February of nineteen eighty-eight. My uncle had been confined to assisted living, so it was just my aunt and myself gallivanting around the desert.

One afternoon, a few miles northwest of Phoenix, we entered the little town of Wickenburg, at the edge of town was a small gas station. I happened to look over in the parking lot and there were four P-400 UPS package cars parked at a small roller conveyor with a roof built over it.

I had to check this out; I turned around and inquired at the station.  The attendant told me that yes it was a UPS center, there were only four drivers, each would deliver a quarter of the seven hundred population town and head out into the desert, going a different direction, serving mainly Indian reservations. There was a goose neck trailer in the back with a window air conditioner sticking out the side. This was the office, a manager would drive up from Phoenix in the morning, get things started and then drive back to Phoenix for the rest of the day.

After moving to Sedona a few years later, I was to discover this was common in the desert, with a climate that featured no extreme cold, very little rain, and a sparse population, only the essentials were needed.

Art Prints

In Camp Verde located in the Verde River Valley, they used what looked like a manufactured home with docks in the side as a center. The package cars were parked outside in the weather, of course the loading was done in the early morning hours before the heat of the day had set in.

Arizona also had state wide seniority whereby a driver could bid on an area statewide, I think the areas came up for bid every two years and if he/she had enough seniority could bid on any area in the state.  A lot of times drivers in Phoenix would do this to escape the heat of the low desert and to get away from the stressful city life.

Because of the distance Arizona was from Louisville and the three time zones involved, next day air parcels had to leave Sedona by two-thirty pm in order to arrive in Phoenix in time to make the plane to the main air hub in Louisville.

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

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Stupid Laws

photo fo two people, a child and an adult looking at a sunset over the ocean

Life was a lot slower and simpler in the fifties and sixties.

Alabama
It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.

California
Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.

Connecticut
You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.

You are not allowed to cross the street on your hands.

Florida
Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.

A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.

If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.

In Sarasota, it is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swim suit.

Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of a strapless gown.

Illinois
It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals kept as pets.

Indiana
Bathing is prohibited during the winter.

Citizens are not allowed to attend a movie house or theater nor ride in a public streetcar within at least four hours after eating garlic.

Iowa
Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.

Kentucky
By law, anyone who has been drinking is “sober” until he or she “cannot hold onto the ground.”

It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.

Louisiana
It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.

Biting someone with your natural teeth is “simple assault”, while biting someone with your false teeth is “aggravated assault.”

Massachusetts
Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.

Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.

An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.

 

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

You Know You’re a Redneck When

 

photo fo two people, a child and an adult looking at a sunset over the ocean

Life was a lot slower and simpler in the fifties and sixties. Enjoy the Good ol’ days!

You Know You’re a Redneck When…

You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter..

Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center..

Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years..

You burn your yard rather than mow it..

The Salvation Army declines your mattress..

Your entire family sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one..

You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don’t want it..

You have the local taxidermist on speed dial..

You come back from the dump with more than you took..

You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table..

Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat..

Your grandmother has “Ammo”on her Christmas list..

You’ve been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

 

Art Prints

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things Part 2

Art Prints

 

The kindergarten teacher was showing her class an encyclopedia page picturing several national flags. She pointed to the American flag and asked, “What flag is this?”
A little girl called out, “That’s the flag of our country.”
“Very good,” the teacher said. “And what is the name of our country?” ‘Tis of thee,” the girl said confidently.
*
After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.
As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard her three-year-old say with a trembling voice, “Who was that?”
*
Two little boys were visiting their grandfather, and he took them to a restaurant for lunch. They couldn’t make up their
minds about what they wanted to eat. Finally the grandfather grinned at the server and said, “Just bring them bread and water.”
One of the little boys looked up and quavered, “Can I have ketchup on it?”

photo fo two people, a child and an adult looking at a sunset over the ocean

Life was a lot slower and simpler in the fifties and sixties.

*
A new neighbor asked the little girl next door if she had any brothers and sisters. She replied, “No, I’m the lonely child.”
*
A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: “We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing
made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard.
We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.” The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she
said, “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”
*
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father’s word processor. She told him she was writing a story. “What’s it  about?”
he asked. “I don’t know,” she replied. “I can’t read.”
*
I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet,  so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask
what color it was. She would tell me, and always she was correct.
But it was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, “Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!”

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Eating Fingers

photo fo two people, a child and an adult looking at a sunset over the ocean

Life was a lot slower and simpler in the fifties and sixties.

This one is for all of you who either:
a) have kids
b) have grown kids
c) were a kid
d) know a kid!

As I was trying to pack for vacation, my 3-year-old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed.

At one point, she said, “Daddy, look at this,” and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her fingers in my mouth and said, “Daddy’s gonna eat your fingers!”
pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again.

When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face. I said, “What’s wrong honey?”

She replied, “What happened to my booger?”

Photography Prints

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Short Runway

Sell Art Online

 

The airliner from Moron Airways was preparing to land at O’Hare Field.

The pilot radioed the control tower that he thought the runway was too short to land on. The tower radioed back that it was more than long enough.

In a few minutes the pilot again radioed about the runway length, only to receive the same reply. On final approach, the pilot radioed again that he thought the runway was too short, only to receive an exasperated reply that the runway was long enough and to go ahead and land.

Sure enough, the plane touched down and ran into the passenger terminal, resulting in major damage and great loss of life.
After the plane came to a halt, the pilot turned to the co-pilot said, “See, I told them the runway was too short”.

To which the co-pilot replied, “Yeah, but did you see how wide that it was?”

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

photo fo two people, a child and an adult looking at a sunset over the ocean

Life was a lot slower and simpler in the fifties and sixties.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.

Is It Better to Be Single or Married Part 2

The Great Debate: Is It Better To Be Single or Married?

Questions concerning love and wisdom were posed to a group of children (ages 5 to 10).

Their responses were amazingly astute and very enlightening, thus proving that all we need to know, we probably learned in kindergarten.

CONFIDENTIAL OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE:
“I’m in favor of love as long as it doesn’t happen when ‘The Simpsons’ are on TV.” (Anita, 6)
*
“Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I’ve been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me.”(Bobby, 8)
*
“I’m not rushing into being in love. I’m finding fourth grade hard enough.” (Regina, 10)

PERSONAL QUALITIES NECESSARY TO BE A GOOD LOVER:
“One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills.”(Ava, 8)

SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU:
“Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores.” (Del, 6)
*
“Don’t do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain’t the same thing as love.” (Alonzo, 9)
*
“One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it’s something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me” (Bart, 9)

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF TWO ADULTS EATING DINNER AT A RESTAURANT ARE IN LOVE?
“Just see if the man picks up the check. That’s how you can tell if he’s in love.” (John, 9)
*
“Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food,” (Brad, 8)
*
“It’s love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire.

They like to order those because it’s just like their hearts are on fire.”
(Christine, 9)

WHAT MOST PEOPLE ARE THINKING WHEN THEY SAY “I LOVE YOU”:
“The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him, but I hope he showers at least once a day.” (Michelle, 9)

HOW A PERSON LEARNS TO KISS:
“You learn it right on the spot, when the gooshy feelings get the best of you.” (Doug, 7)
*
“It might help if you watched soap operas all day.” (Carin, 9)

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
“It’s never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you…that’s why I stopped doing it.” (Jean, 10)

HOW TO MAKE LOVE ENDURE:
“Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work.” (Tom, 7)
*
“Don’t forget your wife’s name…that will mess up the love.” (Roger, 8)
*
“Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take the trash out.” (Randy, 8)

Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

http://www.travelnsnap.com

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:

journeysthrulife@gmail.com.

http://www.journeysthrulife.com.