The Depressed Dog

The Power of Microbiology

There was once a veterinarian who loved to hack gene sequences. One day he successfully grafted pieces of cantaloupe DNA to the DNA of a dog zygote.

The engineered zygote soon developed into a little puppy. The result was far less dramatic than one might expect. The animal was recognizably canine, if tiny and rolly poly. Its fur had an overall orange tint. The vet raised the puppy to adulthood and all was generally fine, though the animal was rather small and rotund. The veterinarian noticed that his dog was becoming lethargic and increasingly morose. Being concerned with the animal’s overall health and mental well-being, the vet tried many things to cure his dog’s apparent depression. After all, he felt guilty that its rowing languishment could be the direct result of his genetic experimentation. He tried altering the animal’s diet, its exercise, and its play, but nothing seemed to help.

Finally, he took the dog to an animal psychiatrist. The vet sat in the waiting room while the orange tinted dog was in with the animal counselor.

Finally, the door opened, and the veterinarian rose to his feet. The psychiatrist came out with the dog. “Tell me, Doctor. What’s wrong?

Is my dog going to be okay?”

“Don’t worry, Doctor. He’ll be fine. He’s just a little melon collie.”

The blogger has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

The Greatest Pet Ever

photo of sail boats

Sail Boat Races in Antigua

The Greatest Pet Ever!

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything.

The shop owner suggests a faithful dog.

The man replies, “Come on, a dog?”

The owner says, “How about a cat?”

The man replies, “No way! A cat certainly can’t do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!”

The shop owner thinks for a minute, then says, “I’ve got it!
A centipede!”

The man says, “A centipede? I can’t imagine a centipede doing everything, but okay… I’ll try a centipede.”

He gets the centipede home and says to the centipede, “Clean the
kitchen.”

Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and… it’s immaculate! All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried,
and put away; the counter-tops cleaned; the appliances sparkling; the floor waxed. He’s absolutely amazed.

He says to the centipede, “Go clean the living room.”

Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed; the furniture cleaned and dusted; the pillows on the sofa plumped; plants watered. The man thinks to himself, “This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. This really is a pet that can do everything!”

Next, he says to the centipede, “Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper.”

The centipede walks out the door. 10 minutes later…no centipede. 20 minutes later… no centipede. 30 minutes later…no centipede. By this point, the man is wondering what’s going on. So he goes to the front door, opens it… and there’s the centipede sitting right outside.

The man says, “Hey!! I sent you down to the corner store 45 minutes ago to get me a newspaper. What’s the matter?!”

The centipede says, “I’m goin’! I’m goin’! I’m just putting on my shoes!”

capiture of a ups driver making a delivery

A UPS driver making a delivery to a beautiful blonde

The blogger has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

Washing the Dog

photo of the pyramids at sunrise

The sun rises over the Egyptian plain

Washday

A young boy goes into a store, picks the biggest box of detergent, and heaves it onto the counter.

“My, my!” says the checker. “What’s a little boy like you doing with a big box of washing detergent?”

“I’m going to wash my dog!” the boy replies.

The checker gasps. “But that will kill him! You can’t do that!”

No matter how hard the checker argues with the little boy, he won’t listen to her. The next day, the checker sees the little boy walking around the store, looking sad. She walks up to him and says, “What’s the matter?”

He frowns and says, “My dog died yesterday.”

The lady says, “Well, I told you he would! It was the detergent, wasn’t it?”

The little boy looks up at her and says, “Actually, I think it was the spin cycle.”

The blogger has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

photo fo two people, a child and an adult looking at a sunset over the ocean

Life was a lot slower and simpler in the fifties and sixties.

Single Black Female

photo of a small man and a big hat

Treasures in hand , it’s back to the ship

Single Black Female

An ad in a local newspaper:

“SINGLE BLACK FEMALE… Seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.

I’m a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I’ll be at the front door when you get home from work —
wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I’m yours. Call 770-555-1357 and ask for Daisy.”

Over 150 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society about an 8-week-old black Labrador Retriever!

capiture of a ups driver making a delivery

A UPS driver making a delivery to a beautiful blonde

The blogger has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

Just Between Friends

photo of Ocho Rios

The Island of Jamaica

Just Between Friends

Two friends, one an Optimist and the other a Pessimist could never quite agree on any topic of discussion. One day the Optimist decided he had found a good way to pull his Pessimistic friend out of his way of continual Pessimistic way of thinking. The Optimist owned a huntin’ dog that could walk on water.

His plan? Take the Pessimist and the dog out duck hunting in a boat. They got out into the middle of the lake, and the Optimist shot down a duck…the dog immediately walked out across the water, retrieved the duck, and walked back to the boat.

The Optimist looked at his Pessimistic friend and said, “What do you think about that?”

The Pessimist replied, “That dog can’t swim, can he?”

capiture of a ups driver making a delivery

A UPS driver making a delivery to a beautiful blonde

The blogger has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

photo of young living oils

Improve your health through essential oils and Isagenix.

A Dog Named Mace

photo of the Cozumel beach

The beach at Cozumel

A Hound Dog Named Mace

An old man lived with his hound-dog, Mace, in a run-down shack on the outskirts of town. He had no family and only a few meager possessions: a table and chair, a bed, a bag of hand tools, and his dog. He used the tools to do odd jobs in town, for which he usually would be paid enough to get food for the next day.

Mace and his master lived from one day to the next on what little these jobs would bring. The dog was just a normal hound, with one exception: while most dogs like to chew on grass occasionally, Mace loved it.
When the old man was in town, Mace would spend the day in the yard in front of the house, chewing away on the lawn.

One bright, sunny day the old man said goodbye to his dog and headed into town to work. He had a plumbing repair job in one of the homes there that would take him most of the day and would probably pay enough for food for the remainder of the week, if he managed the money carefully.

He headed for town with a spring in his step and a whistle on his lips. Inside the house and ready to start, the old man reached in the bag for his wrench. To his surprise, he didn’t feel it. He dug around again, but there didn’t seem to be any wrench. He looked in the bag, then dumped its contents on the floor, but still no wrench. Reality set in. Without a wrench he couldn’t
finish the job, and without the pay he couldn’t even buy food for that night’s supper, let alone for tomorrow. When he finally came to grips with reality, he told the lady who hired him what the situation was. While she sympathized with his situation, the job needed to be done. If the old man couldn’t do it, she would have to hire someone else.

The old man packed up his tools and headed home, head bowed and shoulders stooped. The whistle was gone and no longer was there a spring in his step. A walk that normally took 15 minutes seemed to last forever. But finally the old shack came into view, and there was Mace in the distance, munching away as usual on the lawn. When the dog saw his master, he came
running, tail wagging, telling the old man how glad he was to see him. Kneeling beside the hound, the man began to pet him, and through tear-filled eyes told the dog that there would be no supper tonight and no food for tomorrow. What’s
more, without money to buy a new wrench, he had no idea what the future held. It was the loneliest, most helpless feeling he ever had!

Then he caught a glimpse of something shining in the grass. As the old man went over to see what this piece of shining material was, his despair turned in an instant to joy! It was the wrench! The old man had dropped it on his way out that morning, and it would have been lost forever had Mace not been eating farther away from the house than he usually did! The old man
grabbed the dog, gave him a hug that almost suffocated him, and ran into the house. Reaching for a stub of pencil and the only piece of paper he had, he wrote a moving tribute to his canine companion.

Few people have ever heard these words…until now, that is. One man who did happen to read them changed them a bit and has his name recorded in music history. The old man never did get the credit he deserved. But now you are privileged to read the opening line of his original poem, which began: 
“A grazing Mace, how sweet the hound that saved a wrench for me.”

The author has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

capiture of a ups driver making a delivery

A UPS driver making a delivery to a beautiful blonde

Really Bad Puns


Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly,
but when they lit a fire
in the craft it sank – proving once and for all that you can’t have your
kayak and heat it, too.

*
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood
and
became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and
never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the
lesser of two weevils.
*
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles
up
to the bar and announces “I’m looking for the man who shot my
paw.”
*
This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in
his home town for the holidays. After looking over the menu he says,
“I’ll just have the eggs Benedict.” His order comes a while later and
it’s served on a big, shiny hubcap. He asks the waiter, “What’s with the
hubcap?” The waiter sings, “Oh, there’s no plate like chrome for the
hollandaise!”
*
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist’s Novocain
during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental
medication.
*
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing
in
the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an
hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
“But why?,” they asked, as they moved off. “Because,” he said, “I can’t
stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
*
A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a
hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and
would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One afternoon,
as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to
find that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly,he threw
together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The
doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and
exclaimed, “This isn’t a hazelnut daiquiri!” “No, I’m sorry,” replied
the bartender, “it’s a hickory daiquiri, Doc.”
*
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something
to
eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book;
the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on
the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle
knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
*
There was a man who entered a local paper’s pun contest. He sent in
ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean, and studied Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different cultures!
He has published several books about the various cultures he has studied and applied what he has learned to solving the many issues facing not only the United States, but the world as well.
Common Sense solutions to complex problems.
For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks, please check his website.http://www.commonsensejourneys.com.

You can also follow him on your Kindle.