Safari So Goody

Safari So Goody

A man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dog along for company. One day the dog starts chasing butterflies and before long he discovers that he is lost. So, wandering about he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.

The dog thinks, “Boyo, I’m in deep trouble now.” (He was an Irish setter)…. Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dog exclaims loudly, “Man, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?”
Hearing this the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. “Whew”, says the leopard. “That was close. That dog nearly had me.”

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. But the dog saw him heading after the leopard with great speed and figured that something must be up.
The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The cat is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here monkey, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine.”

Now the dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks,” What am I going to do now?” But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers pretending he hasn’t seen them yet.
And just when they get close enough to hear, the dog says, “Where’s that monkey. I just can never trust him. I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard, and he’s still not back!!”

Gary has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

Rolling The Car Over In the Cow Pasture

 

Written By: Gary Wonning

We had an old ‘38 Pontiac that had seen it’s better days, it’s the same car we drove home on the day our house caught on fire. Our cousin Bob and dad decided to see if they could take it out in the field and drive down a hill as fast as the old car would go, cut the wheel hard and see if they could roll it over.

After several tries, and no success they gave up. Even though the tires had grass between the rim and the tire, they couldn’t roll it over. They don’t make cars like that anymore.

Those were the days my friends

Gary has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

Cold Water

Cold Water

A man went to visit his 90-year old grandfather and while eating the breakfast of eggs and bacon prepared for him, he
noticed a film-like substance on his plate. So he says, 
“Grandfather, are these plates clean?”

His grandfather replies, “Those plates are as clean as cold water can get them, so go on and finish your meal.”

That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch, he noticed many little black specks around
the edge of his plate, so again he asked, “Grandfather are you sure these plates are clean?”

Without looking up from his burger, the grandfather says, “I told you, those dishes are as clean as coldwater can get them,
now don’t ask me about it anymore.”

Later that day, they were on their way out to get dinner. As he was leaving the house, Grandfather’s dog, who was lying on
the floor, started to growl and would not let him pass.

“Grandfather, your dog won’t let me out.”

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching, his grandfather shouted, “Coldwater, get your butt
out of the way!”

Gary has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

The Kabbalah, the Tree of Life

Jewish mystics diagrammed the ten aspects of God as a network of ten spheres and called it the Tree of Life. the tree of life is a blueprint for the inner workings of God, the universe and the soul.

It’s called the kabbalah.

All things spiritual sprang from the Kabbalah and the Kabbalah sprang from all things.

Gary has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

The author’s personal, spiritual walkabout.

The Smart Dog

The Dog

A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away. Later, he notices the dog is back again.

He walks over to the dog and notices the dog has a note in his mouth.

The butcher takes the note, and it reads, “Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please.”

The butcher looks, and lo and behold, in the dog’s mouth, there is a ten dollar bill. So the butcher takes the money, puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, and places it in the dog’s mouth.

The butcher is very impressed, and since it’s closing time, he decides to close up shop and follow the dog. So, off he goes.

The dog is walking down the street and comes to a crossing. The dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the crossing button.

Then he waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to change. They do, and he walks across the road, with the butcher following.

The dog then comes to a bus stop, nd starts looking at the timetable.

The butcher is in awe at this stage. The dog checks out the times and sits on one of the seats to wait for the bus.

Along comes a bus. The dog walks to the front of the bus, looks at the number, and goes back to his seat. Another bus comes. Again the dog goes and looks at the number, notices it’s the right bus, and climbs on. The butcher, by now open-mouthed, follows him onto the bus.

The bus travels thru town and out to the suburbs. Eventually the dog gets up, moves to the front of the bus, and standing on his hind legs, pushes the button to stop the bus. The dog gets off, groceries still in his mouth, and the butcher still following.

They walk down the road, and the dog approaches a house. He walks up the path, and drops the groceries on the step. Then he walks back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -whap!- against the
door.

He goes back down the path, takes another run, and throws himself -whap!- against the door again! There’s no answer at the door, so the dog goes back down the path, jumps up on a narrow wall, and walks along the perimeter of the garden. He gets to a window, and bangs his head against it several times. He walks back, jumps off the wall, and waits at the door. The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts laying into the dog, really yelling at him.

The butcher runs up and stops the guy. “What the heck are you doing?

This dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for Heaven’s sake!” To which the guy responds, “Clever, my eye. This is the second time this week he’s forgotten his key!”

Gary has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

The Cowboy in the Church

One Sunday a cowboy went to church. 

When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present.

The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach. The cowboy said, “I’m not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I’d feed him.”

So the minister began his sermon.

One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-half hours.

The preacher finally finished and came down to ask the cowboy how he liked the sermon. The cowboy answered slowly,

“Well, I’m not very smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn’t feed him all the hay.”

Gary has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

Seeing Eye Dogs

Seeing-Eye Dogs

Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman pincher and the other had a Chihuahua.

As they sauntered down the street, the one with the Doberman said to her friend, “Let’s go over to that bar and get something to drink.”

The one with the Chihuahua said, “We can’t go in there. We’ve got dogs with us.”

The one with the Doberman said, “Just follow my lead.” They walked over to the bar and the one with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.

The bouncer at the door said, “Sorry, Lady, no pets allowed.”

The woman with the Doberman said, “You don’t understand. This is my Seeing-Eye dog.”

The bouncer said, “A Doberman pinscher?”

The woman said, “Yes, they’re using them now. They’re very good.”

The bouncer said, “OK, come on in.”

The lady with the Chihuahua figured ‘what the heck’, so she put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.

Once again the bouncer said, “Sorry, lady, no pets allowed.”

The one with the Chihuahua said, “You don’t understand. This is my Seeing-Eye dog.”

The bouncer said, “A Chihuahua?”

The woman with the Chihuahua said, “A Chihuahua? They gave me a darn Chihuahua?!”

The Adventures of  a parcel redistribution specialist

Gary has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome