Why Men Can't Win

Why Men Can’t Win

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you’re a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework, you’re a pansy.

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don’t work enough, you’re a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it’s equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it’s sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it’s male indifference.

If you cry, you’re a wimp. If you don’t, you’re an insensitive bastard.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you’re a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she’s a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy, that’s domination. If she asks you, it’s a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you’re a pervert. If you don’t, you’re a fag.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you’re a sexist pig. If you don’t, you’re unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you’re vain. If you don’t, you’re a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you’re after something. If you don’t, you’re not thoughtful.

If you’re proud of your achievements, you’re up on yourself. If you don’t, you’re not ambitious.

Sell Art Online

If you’re totally beat after a hard day, you don’t give a damn about other people’s needs. If she’s totally beat after a hard day, she’s tired.

If you want it too often, you’re oversexed. If you don’t, there must be “someone else”.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

You Know You're a Mom When

You count the sprinkles on each kid’s cupcake to make sure they’re
equal.

You have the time to shave only one leg at a time.

You hide in the bathroom to be alone.

Your kid throws up and you catch it.

Some one else’s kid throws up at a party. You keep eating.

You consider finger paints to be a controlled substance.

You’ve mastered the art of placing large quanitities of pancakes and
eggs on a plate without anything touching.

Your child insists that you read “Once Upon a Potty” out loud in the
lobby of Grand Central Station and you do it.

You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons, your child chews
his toast into the shape of a gun.

You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it’s the only way your child eats.

You can’t bear the thought of your son’s first girlfriend.

You hate the thought of his wife even more.

You find yourself cutting your husbands’ (spouse’s) sandwiches into
cute shapes.

You can’t bear to give away baby clothes – it’s so final.

You hear your mother’s voice coming out of your mouth when you say,
“NOT in your good clothes!”

You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.

You donate to charities in the hope that your child won’t get that
disease.

You hire a sitter because you haven’t been out with your husband in
ages, then spend half the night checking on the kids.

You use your own saliva to clean your child’s face.

You say at least once a day, “I’m not cut out for this job”, but you
know you wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

Make money doing what you love

Make money doing what you love

 

Sell Art Online

Mens' Responses to Women's Complaints

Mens’ Responses to Women’s Complaints

To Women everywhere, from the Men who have had enough!

(And by the way: this was sent to me by a woman.)

  • If you don’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
  • If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us anymore — we refuse to answer.
  • Sometimes we’re not thinking about you. Live with it. And don’t ask us what we are thinking about unless you’re prepared to discuss such subjects as belly button lint or monster trucks.
  • Sunday equals sports. It’s like the full moon or the tides: there’s nothing you can do about it. And shopping isn’t a sport, never was a sport and never will be a sport.
  • When we’re going out, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. Just fine. The first thing you put on. Truly. Now let’s get going already!
  • You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes. Most guys own just 3 pairs of shoes. Why do you think we’d be any good at choosing which of your 30 pairs goes well with that dress?
  • Crying is blackmail. Blackmail is cheating. Men don’t like people who cheat. See “Sports”.
  • Just come out and ask for what you want. Let’s be absolutely clear on this point: Subtle hints don’t work, strong hints don’t work, really obvious hints don’t work. If you’re really serious about it, just come right out and ask us. And by the way, the answer is probably “no”.
  • We don’t know what day it is, and never will. Write all birthdays, anniversaries and other special occasions in bright red on the calendar, and make sure we see it.
  • Trust me on this, standing up while peeing makes it much harder to aim. We’re bound to miss sometimes. It’s not the end of the world.
  • “Yes” and “no” are perfectly acceptable answers to almost any question.
  • Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
  • A headache that recurs every night is a problem. See a doctor.
  • Foreign films are best left to foreigners. Unless there’s fighting in it.
  • Check your dang oil. And if your car makes a “funny noise”, say something now — don’t wait until it gets worse. Remember: it always gets worse.
  • It is not in your best interest or ours to take that magazine quiz together. It doesn’t matter which magazine or which quiz.
  • Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument and all comments become null and void after 7 days.
  • If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant it the other way. Really.
  • Ogling is genetic in males. It doesn’t mean we love you less. As my old friend Rich used to say, “It doesn’t matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home.” Just be glad we have an appetite, OK?
  • You can either tell us to do something or tell us how to do something, but not both.
  • Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
  • All men see in about 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color. And life is easier if you bunch all those “eggshell” colors into “pretty much white.”
  • When it itches, it will be scratched. Live with it.
  • Know how you feel about handbags? That’s how we feel about beer.
  • If we ask what’s wrong, and you say “nothing”, we’ll act like nothing’s wrong. We know you’re lying — it’s just not worth the hassle to dig it out of you. So if you have something to say, just say it!
  • Finally, if we’ve settled an argument, it’s settled, OK? Don’t start it all over again later. If it’s not settled in your mind, don’t agree to the settlement the first time.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

money photography

Make money doing what you love.

The Wedding Dress

All Dressed in White

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl was mesmerized by the whole spectacle.

Finally, she leaned over and whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?”

Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life,” her mother explained, trying to keep it simple.

The youngster thought about this for a while.

“So then, why,” she finally asked her mother after putting the pieces together, “is the groom wearing black?”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

Romantic Quote Plates
Romantic Quote Plates by lifejourneysimages
Look at other Relationship Plates at zazzle.com

Way Too Many

Cross-Country Travel

Four women were driving across the country.

Each one was from a different state: Idaho, Nebraska, Florida and New York.

Shortly after the trip began, the woman from Idaho started pulling potatoes from her bag and throwing them out of the window.

“What the heck are you doing?” demanded the Nebraskan.

“We have so many of these darn things in Idaho, I am just sick of looking at them!”

That made sense to the gal from Nebraska, so she began pulling ears of corn from her bag and tossing them from the window.

“What are you doing that for?” asked the gal from Florida.

“We have so many of these things in Nebraska, I am just sick of looking at them!”

Inspired by watching the entire scene, the gal from Florida opened the car door and pushed the New Yorker out.


Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean, and studied Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different cultures!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has studied and applied what he has learned to solving the many issues facing not only the United States, but the world as well.

Common Sense solutions to complex problems.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks, please check his website.http://www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

 



Art Prints

The Snow Plows Must get Through

The Plows Must Get Through!

One winter morning a couple was listening to the radio over
breakfast. They hear the announcer say, “We are going to have 8 to 10
inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side
of the street so the snowplows can get through.” Norman’s wife goes out
and moves her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast and again, the radio
announcer says, “We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You
must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street so the
snowplows can get through.” Norman’s wife goes out and moves her car
again.

The next week they are again having breakfast when the radio
announcer says “We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must
park—” and right then the power goes out.

Norman’s wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she
says, “Honey, I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street do I
need to park on so the snowplows can get through?”

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are
married to blondes exhibit, Norman says, “Sweetie, why don’t you just go
ahead and leave it in the garage just this once?”

If you like, your can get multiple chuckles weekly on your Kindle.

You've Come a Long Way Baby

You’ve Come a Long Way
Baby

Barbara Walters had done a story on gender
roles in Kuwait several
years before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily
walked about 10 feet behind their husbands. She returned to Kuwait
recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind
their wives.

Ms. Walters approached one of the women for an explanation. “This
is
marvelous,” she said. “What enabled women here to achieve this
reversal of roles?”

The Kuwaiti woman replied, “Land mines.”

I post jokes several times a week, now you can follow me on Kindle.

Photography Prints