A Secretaries Creed

A Secretary’s
Creed

1. Never give me work in the morning. Always
wait until 4:00
and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is
refreshing.

2. If it’s really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every
10 minutes to inquire how it’s going. That helps. Even
better, hover behind me, and advise me at every keystroke.

3. Always leave without telling anyone where you’re going.
It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where
you are.

4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies,
don’t open the door for me. I need to learn how to function
as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good
training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of
my limbs.

5. If you give me more than one job to do, don’t tell me
which is priority. I am psychic.

6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and
really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life
beyond work.

7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets
out, it could mean a promotion.

8. If you don’t like my work, tell everyone. I like my name
to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.

9. If you have special instructions for a job, don’t write
them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done.
No use confusing me with useful information.

10. Never introduce me to the people you’re with. I have no
right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am
plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions
will identify them.

11. Be nice to me only when the job I’m doing for you could
really change your life and send you straight to manager’s
hell.

12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any
and it’s nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially
like the story about having to pay so many taxes on the bonus
check you received for being such a good manager.

13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my
goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance
rating with a cost of living increase. I’m not here for the
money anyway.

Flight Network - Specializing in Cheap Flights

The Manager

Photography Prints

The Manager

The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. “What is your name?” was the first thing the manager asked the new guy.

“John,” the new guy replied.

The manager scowled, “Look, I don’t know what kind of a mamby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don’t call
anyone  by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last
name only – Smith, Jones, Baker – that’s all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is
your last name?”

The new guy sighed and said, “Darling. My name is John Darling.”

“Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you
is…”

Get your laughs on Kindle.


MidwestSupplies.com

 The author has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands, much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hardcover and Ebooks, and contact information: please check his website, www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments appreciated

Improve your health,increase your wealth

Improve your health,increase your wealth

reality

I have found over the years that there is no such thing as reality, it is only how we perceive it. Each of us may have a different view of it because of our different beliefs and experiences. Two individuals can be sitting side by side, looking at the same event and “see” two entirely different outcomes based on their individual perceptions.

The Job Interview

The Interview

Reaching the end of a job interview, the
Human
Resources Person asked a young Engineer
fresh out of MIT, “And what starting salary were
you looking for?”



The Engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $125,000

a year, depending on the benefits package.”

The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a

package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full
medical and dental, a company matching retirement
fund for 50% of your salary, and a company car
leased every 2 years — say, a
red Corvette?”

The Engineer sat up straight and said, “Wow! Are you
kidding?”

And the interviewer replied, “Yeah, but you started it.”

Get your chuckles on Kindle.


The Balloonist

Photography Prints

 

The Balloonist


A man is flying in a hot air balloon and
realizes he is lost. He reduces

height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and
shouts: “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would
meet him half an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.

The man below says: “Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering
approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42
degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees West
longitude.”

You must be an engineer” says the balloonist.


I am” replies the man. “How did you know?”


Well” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is
technically

correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the
fact is I am still lost.”

The man below says “You must be a manager.”


I am” replies the balloonist, “but how did you
know?”


Well”, says the man, “You don’t know where you are, or where you are

going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you

expect me to solve your problem.” The final fact is you are in the exact
same
position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my
fault.”

Find your way home!

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

The wisdom of our ancestors

The wisdom of our ancestors

There is an extreme shortage of common sense in today’s world,
I often think back to what my parents and grandparents believed and said, at the time I thought they were totally out of their mind and ignored it. I now wish I would have listened and followed their advice more often.
It is in this light I have decided to publish some of my random thoughts based on the views of our ancestors

 

House Cleaning

House Cleaning

An employee went in to see his boss.
“Boss,” He said. “We’re doing some heavy house-cleaning tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with clearing stuff out of the attic, the shed and the garage, and with scrubbing down all the kitchen cabinets.”

I’m sorry, said the boss,” but we’re short handed at the moment. there’s no way I can give you the day off.”
“Thanks boss, I knew I could rely on you.”

Treasures from the Islands

Funny? Follow me on Kindle.