Blondes in Heaven

Blondes in Heaven

Two Blondes waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation.

“How’d you die?” the first blonde asked the second.

“I froze to death,” says the second.

“That’s awful,” says the first blonde. “How does it feel to freeze to death?”

“It’s very uncomfortable at first,” says the second blonde.

“You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it’s a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you’re sleeping. How about you, how did you die?”

“I had a heart attack,” says the first. “You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone watching TV. I ran to the basement, but no one was hiding there. I ran to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died.”

The second blonde shakes his head. “What a pity. If only you had looked in the freezer, we’d both still be alive!”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

George Koritzer

Common Sense from our ancestors

The Bookie at the Inn

The Bookmaker at the Inn

A certain bookmaker who was making a long trip by car when toward nightfall he happened upon an inn which had a most unusual name: The Even Steven.

Since it was located in the middle of a desolate stretch of country, and he didn’t know how much farther the next place would be, he decided to stop there for the night. He registered, listing his occupation as a bookmaker, and decided to satisfy his curiosity about the name at the same time.

“It’s very simple, really,” the proprietor explained. “You see, my name is Steven Even. So I just decided to turn it around and call this The Even Steven. I thought if might get a few folks puzzled enough to stop and ask questions, and sometimes it does.”

“That’s a pretty smart way to use the luck of a name,” said the bookie, appreciatively. “I bet it brings you a lot of business.”

“It hasn’t brought me so much luck,” he said. “The folks who stop here don’t stay long. There’s not much gaiety around here, as you could see. In fact, there’s not another soul lives closer than thirty miles away, whichever way you go. Makes it pretty lonely for me, a widower. And worse still for my daughters — two of the loveliest girls you ever set eyes on, should have their pick of boyfriends. But, they are getting so frustrated they’re about to do anything for a man.”

The bookie made sympathetic noises, and listened to more in the same vein until hunger obliged him to change the subject to that of food. An excellent home-cooked dinner was served to him by a gorgeous blonde who introduced herself as Blanche Even, and when he was finished she still kept pressing him to ask for anything else he wanted.

Finally, she said, “Would you like me to sit and talk to you for a while?”

“Thank you,” he said politely, “but I’ve had a long day and I feel like closing the book.”

He went to his room and had just started to undress when there was a knock at the door and an absolutely breathtaking brunette came in. “I’m Carmen Even,” she said. “I just wanted to see if you’d got everything you want.”

“I think so, thank you,” he said pleasantly. “I do a lot of traveling, so I pack very systematically.”

When she had gone, he settled down with a sigh of relief and was about to put out the light at last when the door burst open once more and the proprietor himself stomped in, glowing with indignation. “What’s the matter with you,” he roared. “I’ve got to listen all night to my daughters moaning an’ wailing, the most luscious gals in this county, because they all try to show you hospitality an’ you won’t give one of ’em a tumble. Ain’t us Evens good enough for you?”

“I’m sorry,” said the transient. “But I told you when I registered that I’m a professional bookmaker: I only lay Odds.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

Blonde Ingenuity

 

Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the
bar?
She heard that the drinks were on the house.

*
Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips?
From trying to blow out lightbulbs.
*

Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was
hammering?
The noise gave her a headache.
*

Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
To see what was on the other side.
*

What did the blonde get on an IQ test?
Drool.
*

One day, the blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where
they kept the lobsters. She took pity on these creatures and hid them
in her purse. Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals
free.
*

Why does the blonde keep empty beer bottles in her fridge?
They are for those who don’t drink!
*

How did the blonde die while drinking milk?
The cow sat down!


Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean, and studied Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different cultures!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has studied.

Common Sense solutions to complex problems.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks, please check his website.http://www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

 swimming

A short story depicting adventures in the out back of Australia

Sell Art Online

The Blonde’s Red Ears

YOUR FAVORITE ONLINE STORE

With both ears very red, the blonde went to her
doctor.

The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she
answered, “I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang – but instead
of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and
stuck it to my ear.”

“Oh dear!” the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. “But what happened
to your other ear?”

“The idiot called back!”


Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean, and studied Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different cultures!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has studied.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks, please check his website.http://www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

 

Lanzarote cover

An undiscovered paradise lies in the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of Africa. part of the Canary Islands, Lanzarote is a jewel waiting to be discovered, from the beautiful coast line with it ‘s gorgeous cities to the lava fields, and mountains, Lanzarote has much to offer the discerning visitor.

Did you Hear About When the Blonde



Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to
unlock the door of their
Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door
open, but they couldn’t. The blonde with the coat hanger stopped for a
moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, “Hurry
up! It’s starting to rain and the top is down.”

 


Hear about when the blonde got an AM radio?
It took her a month to realize she could play it at
night.


What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
They drowned in Spring training.


Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean, and studied Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different cultures!

 

He has published several books about the various cultures he has studied and applied what he has learned to solving the many issues facing not only the United States, but the world as well.

Common Sense solutions to complex problems.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks, please check his website.http://www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

 

 

4 Blonde Quickies

Art Prints

4 Blonde
Quickies

What do you call four blondes in a
Volkswagen?
Far-from-thinkin.
*
Did you hear about when the blonde that stayed up all night to see where
the sun went?
It finally dawned on her.
*
What does a smart blonde and UFO’s have in common?
You always hear about them but never see them.
*
These two blondes walk into a building. You’d think one of them would
have seen it.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean, and studied Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different cultures!

He has published several books about the various cultures.

Common Sense solutions to complex problems.

 

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks, please check his website.http://www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Young Living photo

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

 



The Carnival Performer

Sell Art Online

The Carnival Performer

This isn’t a blond joke ,but it should be.

“What do you do?” the pretty young thing asked the fellow on the stool next to her at the local watering hole.

“I’m a carnival performer,” he said. “I do amazing mental tricks.”

“Really? Like what?” she asked.

“The most amazing one is, I can feel a woman’s breasts, and tell the exact day she was born.”

“No way!”

“Yes, really.”

“OK, try it on me,” she said.

He reached over, put his hands up her shirt, and started poking,
prodding, caressing, and gently pinching. He was clearly concentrating,
but didn’t say a word.

Well?” she finally demanded after about two minutes. “When was I born?!”

“I’ve got it exactly,” he said, with one final squeeze. “Yesterday.”

Vegetarian Slow Cooker Recipes.

Get a regular dose of humor delivered to your Kindle.

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

Make money doing what you love

Make money doing what you love

This informative Ebook describes alternative methods of making money ,often a full time income in photography even if you have no desire to shoot wedding photography. this book gives examples and websites where you can use your photos to supply you with an income, not only to enable you to buy new equipment, but a living income as well.