The Photographer

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The Newspaper Photographer

The photographer for a large national newspaper was assigned to get photos of an enormous forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane.”It will be waiting for you at the airport!” he was assured by his editor.

“It will be waiting for you at the airport!” he was assured by his editor.

As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough: a plane was warming up near the runway. The photographer jumped in with his equipment and yelled, “Let’s go! Go, go, go!

The pilot nodded and swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air.

“Fly over the north side of the fire,” said the photographer, “and make three or four low level passes.”

“Why?” asked the pilot.

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“Because I’m going to take pictures! I’m a photographer, and photographers take pictures!” said the photographer with great exasperation and impatience.

“Do you mean to say,” the pilot asked after a long pause, “that you’re not the flight instructor?”

The author has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

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Airline Travel: The Next Generation

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Airline Travel: The Next Generation

You know, this isn’t all that far-fetched these days….

Attendant: Welcome aboard U.S. Airways, sir. May I see your ticket?

Passenger: Sure.

Attendant: You’re in seat 12B. That will be $5, please!

Passenger: What for?

Attendant: For telling you where to sit.

Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.

Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat locator fee of $5. It’s the airline’s new policy.

Passenger: That’s the craziest thing I ever heard. I won’t pay it.

Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not?

Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I’ll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this.

Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy. Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you?

Passenger: That would be swell, thanks.

Attendant: No problem. Up we go, and done! That will be $10, please.

Passenger: What?

Attendant: The airline now charges a $10 carry-on assistance fee.

Passenger: This is extortion. I won’t stand for it.

Attendant: Actually, you’re right, you can’t stand. You need to sit, And fasten your seat belt. We’re about to push back from the gate. But, first I need that $10.

Passenger: No way!

Attendant: Sir, if you don’t comply, I will be forced to call the air marshal — and you really don’t want me to do that.

Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me?

Attendant: No, but there’s a $50 air-marshal hailing fee.

Passenger: Oh, all right, here, take the $10. I can’t believe this.

Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?

Passenger: Yes. It’s stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn’t seem to work. Can you fix it?

Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just insert two quarters into the Overhead coin slot for the first five minutes.

Passenger: The airline is charging me for cabin air?

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Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge. It’s the circulating air that costs 50 cents.

Passenger: I don’t have any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar?

Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go!

Passenger: But you’ve given me only three quarters for my dollar.

Attendant: Yes, there’s a change-making fee of 25 cents.

Passenger: For cryin’ out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter? What the heck can I do with this?

Attendant: Hang onto it, it’ll probably come in handy later.

Passenger (finally getting suspicious): What for?

Attendant: You may need it later for the lavatory.

The blogger has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

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You Know You're on a No Frills Airline When

They don’t sell tickets, they sell chances.
*

All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.
*

Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.
*

You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.
*

Before you take off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.
*

The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.
*

When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.
*

The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.
*

The ground crew uses jumper cables and an old pickup truck to start the
engines.
*

You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he sez, “Just once.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

George Koritzer

 

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Basic Rules for Pilots

 Basic Rules for Pilots

Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

Flying isn’t dangerous. Crashing is what’s dangerous.

It’s always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.

The only time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.

The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.

A ‘good’ landing is one from which you can walk away. A ‘great’ landing is one after which they can use the plane again.

Learn from the mistakes of others. You won’t live long enough to make all of them yourself.

You know you’ve landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.

The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.

Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn’t get to five minutes earlier.

Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you’ve made.

There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

Helicopters can’t fly; they’re just so ugly the earth repels them.

If all you can see out of the window is ground that’s going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.

It’s always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.

Keep looking around. There’s always something you’ve missed.

Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It’s the law. And it’s not subject to repeal.

The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

Basic Rules for Pilots

Basic Rules for Pilots

Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.

You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal. 

The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you.

Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky.

If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it’s probably a helicopter — and, therefore, unsafe.

When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.

Without ammunition, the USAF would just be another expensive flying club.

I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous.

If you’re faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible.

You’ve never been lost until you’ve been lost at Mach 3.

Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.

Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day.

When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten.

The three most common expressions (aka famous last words) in aviation are: “Why is it doing that?”, “Where are we?”, and “Uh oh.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow him on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

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In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

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Aircraft Jokes

Aircraft Maintenance

I’m not sure about the “actual” bit, since it has been attributed to the U.S. Air Force, United Airlines, Qantas Airlines, and more. But it’s a great old classic about clear communications

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and responses:

P = the problem logged by the pilot.
S = the solution and action taken by engineers.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

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P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what they’re there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow me on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

 schoolhouse

A life long journey of spiritual enlightenment. A journey we all must take. 
Since time immemorial , humankind has embarked on a spiritual journey to seek enlightenment. All travel this path, although not at the same time and more especially not at the same pace. Each must seek his own path and destination.

Air New Zealand

Air New Zealand

An oldie — and not for the easily offended.

A mother and her 5-year-old son were flying Air New Zealand from Auckland to Sydney.

The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”

The mother, who couldn’t think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant.

So the little guy walks up to the galley and asks the flight attendant, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”

The flight attendant responded, “Did your mother tell you to ask me that?”

The boy said, “Yes, she did.”

“Well, then, please tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Air New Zealand always pulls out on time. Ask her to explain that to you.”

Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed and applied what he has learned to solving the many issues facing not only the United States, but the world as well.

Common Sense solutions to complex problems.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

You can also follow me on your Kindle.

Your comments appreciated

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

A modern day vision quest

A modern day vision quest

Join me in a journey of self discovery and enlightenment. Journey to the outback of Australia and learn the ways of the ancient aborigines.

 

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