You Know You’re Drinking Too Much Coffee When


You Know You’re Drinking Too Much Coffee When…

1. Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.

2. You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

3. The only time you’re standing still is during an earthquake.

4. You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using
the timer.

5. You lick your coffeepot clean.

6. You spend every vacation visiting “Maxwell House.”

7. You’re the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you
don’t even work there.

8. Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

9. You’re so jittery that people use your hands to blend their

10. You can jump-start your car without cables.

11. All your kids are named “Joe.”

12. Your only source of nutrition comes from “Sweet & Low.”

13. You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.

14. You’ve built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.

15. People get dizzy just watching you.

16. When you find a penny, you say, “Find a penny, pick it up.
Sixty-three more, I’ll have a cup.”

17. The Taster’s Choice couple wants to adopt you.

18. Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.

19. You’re so wired, you pick up FM radio.

20. Your life’s goal is to “amount to a hill of beans.”

21. Instant coffee takes too long.

22. When someone says. “How are you?”, you say, “Good to the last drop.”

23. You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity
in a coffee can.

24. You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.

25. You’re offended when people use the word “brew” to mean beer.

26. You name your cats “Cream” and “Sugar.”

27. You get drunk just so you can sober up.

28. Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.

29. You can outlast the Energizer bunny.

30. You don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.

31. You think being called a “drip” is a compliment.

32. You don’t tan, you roast.

33. You can’t even remember your second cup.

34. You introduce your spouse as your “Coffeemate.”

35. You think CPR stands for “Coffee Provides Resuscitation.”


Growing up on a dairy farm in southeastern Indiana, Gary traveled very little until midlife, when the opportunity became available to him.

Grabbing his camera and a bag full of equipment, he began his vision quest traveling to most areas of the United States and several countries abroad.

Along the way he collected several thousand photographs that he wants to share with everyone.

Gary decided the best way to accomplish his goal was to publish photo documentaries on the various areas of the world he has visited.

What will follow will be several photography books, who knows how many will wind up in his collection.

To contact Gary:


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