The pastor wears his golf togs in the pulpit.
The organist is Boris Karloff or appears to be his stunt double.
The floral arrangement on the altar is in the shape of a big
horseshoe… that reads “Hollywood Park.”
The acolytes are roasting hot dogs and marshmallows over the altar
People in the last 10 pews are yelling for more pepperoni pizza with
Everyone is handcuffed together at the ankles before preaching starts.
You get a phone call from their national telemarketer on Monday trying to
sell you Bibles at discount by the case.
You are asked to fasten your seatbelt before the service begins moving.
You are told your offering is nice but the ushers want your wallet, watch,
and wedding rings too.
You are the only person in the sanctuary and it’s 15 minutes after
church is scheduled to start.
The confessional has a coin slot and a hand lever.
The baptismal fount has bubbling water, is large enough to hold two
or three seated adults, and looks suspiciously like a jacuzzi.
The pastor search committee never disbands.
Bill Clinton is the speaker of the day and his topic is “Morality In
America – How To Be A Shining Example”.
You have to tip the usher to get a good seat right up front…
Your Favorite ONLINE patriotic store
His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.
He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.
He has published several books about his adventures.
For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.
Your comments are welcome
The day after Congress adopted the first amendment, they sent a message to George Washington. They asked him to declare a day of Thanksgiving to God.
Congress wanted to show America’s appreciation for the opportunity to create a new government in peace and tranquility.
The founders did not intend for God to be separate from our official acts. The founders just did not want a national denomination, such as in England.
They did not want an established church, an established church would take away religious liberty.
They did not want an established church that could force people to worship against their will or support it with private tax dollars.
Many say the founding fathers didn’t believe in God and weren’t Christian. They even go on to say that George Washington wasn’t a Christian and never went to church and never prayed.
This is completely wrong. In the early days of the United States, the whole of society centered around the local church. Most of the early pioneers attended church regularly or semi-regularly. Practically all our early schools were church sponsored, thus the children’s education was based on religion, as was George Washington.