Wisdom from Seniors

Wisdom From
Seniors

When did my wild oats turn to prunes and
all bran?
*
I finally got my head together, now my body is falling
apart.
*
Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded.
*
All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair.
*
If all is not lost, where is it?
*
It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
*
The first rule of holes: if you are in one, stop
digging.
*
I tried to get a life once, But they told me they were out of
stock.
*
I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway
though.
*
It was so different before everything changed.
*
Some day’s you’re the dog, and some day’s you’re the
hydrant.
*
Nostalgia isn’t what it use to be.
*
Old programmers never die. They just terminate and stay
resident.
*
A day without sunshine is like a day in Seattle.
*
I wish the buck stopped here! I could use a few.
*
Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat
cause
kids.
*
It’s not the pace of life that concerns me, it’s the sudden stop at
the end.
*
It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been
anywhere.
*
Living on Earth is expensive, But it does include a trip around the
sun.
*
The only time the world beats a path to your door is if your in the
bathroom.
*
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my
knees.
*
Never knock on death’s door, ring the bell and run (he hates
that).
*
Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way
myself).
*
When you are finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else
decide to play chess.
*
If you are living on the edge, make sure your wearing your
seatbelt.
*
There are two kinds of pedestrians. The quick and the
dead.
*
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other
toys.
*
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
*
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can
die.
*
Its not hard to meet expenses; they are everywhere.
*
Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better
attorney.
*
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the
depth.

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