Charlie Sheen Jokes

Charlie Sheen

Q: How much cocaine can Charlie Sheen snort?
A: Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

Q: What’s a bigger lie than Lindsay Lohan pleading “Not Guilty”?
A: Charlie Sheen saying he’s sober and a feminist.

Actor Charlie Sheen’s Mercedes was stolen and driven off a cliff. The
car thief didn’t want the car, he just wanted to provide the perfect
metaphor for Charlie Sheen’s career.

Q: What’s the name of the new Charlie Sheen sitcom?
A: Two and a Half Personalities

Q: Why is Charlie Sheen planning a trip to Australia?
A: He wants to watch his career go down the toilet counterclockwise.

Charlie Sheen’s stolen car was found crashed at the bottom of a
cliff. Sheen cleared himself of any involvement by claiming that at the
time of the crime, he was home beating his wife.

Q: Why did LAPD take away Charlie Sheen’s guns?
A: They were hoping it would stop him from shooting his mouth off.

Q: Why does Charlie Sheen say he has “Tiger’s blood”?
A: Because his wife chased after him with a nine iron.

News reports note that Charlie Sheen’s wife was arrested in 1996 for
DUI, then later for cocaine possession. Which answers the question, “So,
how did you guys meet?”

Q: What’s the difference between Charlie Sheen and Leonardo DiCaprio?
A: Charlie knows what’s it really like to be on a sinking ship.

Q: Is it true that the show “Two and a Half Men” will continue without Charlie Sheen?
A: Yes — but they’re renaming it to “Two Men”.

The Hanes underwear company has suspended Charlie Sheen as spokesman.
Sheen will instead become the new spokesman for Fruit-of-the-Loon.

Q: Is in true John Stamos was asked to replace Charlie Sheen on the show “Two and a Half Men”?
A: No. However, Martin Sheen has asked him to be his son.

Q: What is the Groundhog Day tradition for Charlie Sheen?
A: Charlie sticks his head out of his house, and if he sees his drug dealer, we can all count on six more weeks of porn stars.

Funny? Follow me on Kindle.

Gary’s E Books

The author has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments welcome

 

Save $20-$40 on Sirius Radios

Advertisements

Introduction to the Esoteric World

YOUR FAVORITE PARANORMAL ONLINE STORE

Sometimes life has a way of making us listen. If we ignore our intuitions for too long a period of time, the universe will provide an avenue for us so we have to listen. I had always been someone who never sat down, I was always busy doing something.

Early in the year of 1984, I began to feel as though I needed to relax and read more books. Not being one to pay attention to my instincts, I continued ignoring that inner urging. Finally, it caught up with me, I was driving for UPS at the time and while delivering a package to the back door of a private residence, I inadvertently stepped off the edge of a concrete patio slab. Trying to right myself I came around with my left foot to regain my footing, the bottom of my left foot slammed into the corner of the slab and tremendous pain immediately shot up my left leg. The longer the day went, the more my foot hurt, by the time I arrived home in the evening, I literally crawled in the front door of my house.

As he  x-rayed  the foot the next day, the doctor determined it was only sprained and I should be able to return to work soon. However, upon further examination of the x-rays, the doctor determined the foot was broken and I would be off work for about 6 weeks. At least it was summer time, I had no cast on my foot, so I could get a lot of pool time in.

A few days later, I was getting a little bored and the kids were going to ride their bikes to the library, needing to get out of the house, I
volunteered to take them. I was going to sit in the van and listen to the radio while they went inside, however  the weather was extremely hot, I decided to go inside and see what kind of trouble I could get in. I hadn’t been in  a library in quite a while,  sightseeing down the different aisles of books, suddenly I looked up and a book was headed in my direction. It had fallen off the shelf directly into my hands! WOW, what is this all about?

Looking at the title of the book, it didn’t mean much to me, the book was written by Ruth Montgomery and it was titled, “The World Before.” As I opened the book to a random page, my interest was peaked, some of  the phraseology lead me to believe it could have been written by a Mason. looking again at the author, I knew that was not the case. Well, I was going to read it, I was hooked, applying for a library card, I checked out the book and we headed home.

As I began reading the book, I was intrigued, it dealt with spirit guides, reincarnation, UFO’s and many other esoteric subjects that I had never seen anything written about before. As I finished that book, it was back to the library to find other writings by this same author. It opened a whole new world to me, soon  I was reading everything I could get my hands on, I even began finding people who shared the same interests as I did, and spent much time discussing many different philosophies and what they could mean.

My world had changed , as a result my perspectives changed and with it, some of my friendships disintegrated and others were formed, but that is the way life is. Life would never be the same, only better.

The author has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

young living

Enlightenment

At this period of time in the history of man, there is probably more individual searching being done into the theories behind the origin of the human race,what happens after death,the possibility of life on other planets, and what our relationship is to these life forms, if they do exist. There are millions of people who are questioning the existence of God, who he really is, and what is my relationship with him? Is he someone who mysteriously floats around on a cloud watching and judging us from above like some bigger than life Santa Claus, or is he, like many of the esoteric sciences claim, a part of our inner Self, whom we have constant contact with, someone whom we and everything in the universe are connected and are thus one? Each of us in our own way is experiencing what God is, and thus we are each a part of God, thus we are God! This book is a brief account of my search for my own truth as I know it today, everything stated actually happened, according to my own perception. It has been an exciting search, at times very frustrating, very rewarding, and above all, very fulfilling. My main purpose in writing this book is to show that anyone, even a bashful unfamous country boy can have these awakenings, you don’t have to be rich or well-known to find your connection to Divine Source.

Available in both paperback and ebook format.

Dare to Take Risks

”Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is
wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others
think is possible.”
Claude Bissell

How often do people go through life being afraid to risk anything for fear of being hurt, harmed financially or even killed? No doubt these are all natural concerns, and there are certain things the average person obviously should not attempt. I’m not talking about skydiving or putting your safety at risk if that isn’t your thing. However if one never ventures outside the box, we never realize how much we can accomplish in life.

Most of what we fear as humans never comes to pass.Many times fear holds us back from achieving something that would create much happiness in our life, often times this fear has nothing to do with physical harm or injury, more often than not it has to do with a fear of being embarrassed or even failing. Many times it even has to do with a fear of succeeding and then having a fear of being unworthy of our own success.

I often feel as though our main mission in life is to overcome fear and thus be able to reach a personal satisfaction from doing whatever it is we never thought we could accomplish.The only way to accomplish this is to take risks, as we take risks, we grow, we try and sometimes we do fail, so what, we learn from the experience and try again, we keep trying until success is finally attained.

Through it all we learn we can achieve anything we set out to do, if our desire and determination is great enough.Somewhere in this world there is a need for the talent you have. The only way you can find your passion and the need for it, is to take a risk, no matter how large or small the step must be taken. Once you have achieved your goal you will look back and wonder what the big deal was, and why you were afraid, this is the time to silently pat yourself on the back for a job well done and move on to the next challenge.

As we progress through life the challenges get larger and larger, kit is only by meeting each challenge that we evolve and become able to positively affect our future by realizing we have grown and now possess the ability and knowledge to be able to control our thoughts and actions sufficiently to create the future we want and desire.

Interesting? Follow me on Kindle.

 

Find success!

The author has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments welcome

Egypt: The Hotel Habou

The Hotel Habou: the Valley of the Dead

Your favorite EGYPTIAN store


An enjoyable light show was presented at Karnak, now it was time to cross the Nile to our quarters for the evening, approached the river, we could see  our ferry boat, a scene straight out of the AFRICAN QUEEN. I expected Humphrey Bogart to be the pilot. Five Americans on a boat load of Egyptians, not quite what I expected, it was quite a shock for the farm boy from the Midwest.

Hotel Habou3
Even more shocking, when reaching the other side of the river, a small compact car awaited us, how are we going to get six people and our luggage in this thing? Oh well it’s on to the mansion and my butler.

As we approached the hotel, I realized there would be no butler. It was a youth hostel, and not a very good one at that. We were to split up, boy ,girl, and me being odd man out was to spend the evening with a nice young bloke from the mother country. That’s fine, opening the door to our room I discovered my bed, a sway backed cot with a large cat lying smack dap  in the middle of it. The cat immediately beat a hasty retreat out the door, so much for the cat!.
The owner wired the shutters shut, there would be no more cat that evening.


The next morning I beat a hasty retreat to the co-ed bathroom for a much deserved shave. Oops, the pipe coming out of the wall into the lavatory isn’t long enough, when the water is turned on it runs on the floor instead of into the sink, guess I’ll wait until I get back to Cairo for my shave, it’s only been four days.
breakfast Hotel Habou (1)
As we enjoyed a nice breakfast on the back deck , I realized this was pretty cool, now, whenever I think of Egypt, my night spent at the Hotel Habou always comes to mind. The hospitality and warmth shown by the Egyptian people made all the hardships worthwhile.

The rest of the group that had stayed overnight in Luxor soon caught up with us and we enjoyed the day visiting the Valley of the Dead, the Valley of the Kings and Queens, King Tut’s tomb, and many other attractions.

Stopping back at the hotel Habou for dinner, the rest of the group couldn’t believe we stayed in such a place until we told them where the bathroom was, they realized we couldn’t have known that if we hadn’t stayed there.
After dinner, it was back to the train station in Luxor for the ride back to Cairo.

If you would like to learn more of the Egyptian Culture, my new book is now available on Amazon.

Now you can follow me on Kindle.

CheapOstay

The author has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments welcome

land of the pharaoh

Dating back to the land before time, Egypt continues to be a land of mystery and intrigue. Many Egyptians are still farming and earning a living today much the same way they did in ancient Egypt, almost ten thousand years ago. Most are still using irrigation water from the Nile River via the same irrigation canals used many generations ago. Not much seems to have changed in this ancient land
As I viewed the ancient Egyptian pyramids and temples, it seemed to me their civilization had digressed over time. You can’t help but wonder how the same peoples that built the pyramids, today can only build rudimentary mud huts. Homes built over 1500 years ago are like the ones constructed today.
Standing high on the plain overlooking Cairo are the pyramids of Giza. Of the nearly 70 pyramids of Egypt, these three are the most popular and well known. Reputed to be over 5,000 years old, these three landmarks have been the topic of many books, movies, and legends.
Many legends and speculation in Egyptian mythology surround the pyramids. Why were they built, and how were they built? They have been described as burial tombs for the pharaohs, and giant observatories. Speculation also exists they were ceremonial sites where the ancients performed secret rituals.

My Dog

It just hit me:

My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day.

He has his food prepared for him.

He can eat whenever he wants, 24/7/365.

His meals are provided at no cost to him.

He visits the doctor once a year for his check-up, and again during the year if any medical needs arise.

For all this he pays nothing, and nothing is required of him.

He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than
he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep. If he makes a mess,
someone else cleans it up for him.

He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep.

He is living like a King, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.

All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me:

My dog is a politician!

Now you can follow me on Kindle.

The author has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments welcome

A Life Changing Event

In May of 1979, my wife had her second hysterectomy within a year. The year before the doctors had removed one ovary because it had a cyst and didn’t bother  the second one as it was healthy.Within a year, and without warning the second ovary developed a cyst that grew to the size of a grapefruit almost overnight.

She was extremely concerned and was convinced she was going to die, being only 30 years old, this wasn’t very likely. As a result of her concern, she often consulted with our pastor who agreed to accompany us to the hospital. The surgery would be performed at Methodist Hospital in Indianapolis about 70 miles away, We went to the hospital the day before so she could check in and prepare for the surgery. I had planned on staying with her as much as I could on the week-end and stay overnight with a cousin in the area as I had previously done on other such surgeries.

The day of the surgery, I met my father-in-law and our pastor at the hospital and walked  to her room. It was close to 11 AM, so the nurses were prepping her for the surgery. She was still convinced she wasn’t going to make it through the operation and as she was wheeled into the operating room, she looked at me and kissed me “Good-Bye.” It was an I’m never going to see you again kiss.

The nurse led us to a room next to the elevator that she would come down after the operation.  My father-in-law, our pastor, and I had lunch and sat down by the elevator to wait for her arrival. About an hour later we were informed the surgery had been a success and she should be out of recovery in about an hour. This was about 1pm.

Time passed and she still hadn’t come down by 4 PM, the nurses kept informing us that she was fine and would be right down.We sat there for four hours and not once did I ever hear the elevator make any noise except the opening and closing of the door. At 5:15 PM, I suddenly heard the elevator door open while it was on the floor above us, I looked up and “saw” my wife and two male nurses, an African-American at her head and a short white male nurse at her feet enter the elevator and start to descend towards our floor. I could hear them talking as the elevator approached  our floor.

As the elevator descended, and much to the surprise of my Father-in-law and the pastor I started for the elevator door. I arrived at the door just as it opened.They all exited the elevator in the exact same position as I had “seen” them get on the elevator. My wife and I kissed, but she had changed, it was not the same person who had gone into surgery 6 hours earlier

Something had changed, things were never the same after that, I didn’t stay with my cousins as I had done in the past. I went back home, stopping to eat in a local restaurant, wondering what had just happened.  I never really spent much time with her in the hospital as before, she was a stranger. For some reason she had spent five hours in the recovery room and when we received the hospital bill, there was a charge for her being resuscitated  twice, which we weren’t aware of, she did complain of sore ribs after the surgery, but had no clue as to what had happened.

That day changed everything, we were divorced a few years after that. I never did really find out what happened and why she changed.


Free Birthday eCards

The author has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments are welcome

Enlightenment

At this period of time in the history of man, there is probably more individual searching being done into the theories behind the origin of the human race,what happens after death,the possibility of life on other planets, and what our relationship is to these life forms, if they do exist. There are millions of people who are questioning the existence of God, who he really is, and what is my relationship with him? Is he someone who mysteriously floats around on a cloud watching and judging us from above like some bigger than life Santa Claus, or is he, like many of the esoteric sciences claim, a part of our inner Self, whom we have constant contact with, someone whom we and everything in the universe are connected and are thus one? Each of us in our own way is experiencing what God is, and thus we are each a part of God, thus we are God! This book is a brief account of my search for my own truth as I know it today, everything stated actually happened, according to my own perception. It has been an exciting search, at times very frustrating, very rewarding, and above all, very fulfilling. My main purpose in writing this book is to show that anyone, even a bashful unfamous country boy can have these awakenings, you don’t have to be rich or well-known to find your connection to Divine Source.

Available in both paperback and ebook format

Controlling the Events in Your Life

I think everyone would like to be able to control the events in their lives. How many of us would like for only so-called “good” things to happen? While we can control some of the events in our life, to do so all the time is not only impossible, but not even desirable. Often times , we learn the most and grow as an individual through the adversity we face each and every day.

Every thing that comes our way, we choose on some level of consciousness.  In that respect, we are choosing our destiny. Keeping that in mind helps us understand how and why certain things happen. Sometimes it is hard to understand why we would let certain events come into our life, they are certainly not what we would want on a conscious level as they often bring hardship and suffering our way.

But it is through that hardship and suffering we learn, sooner or later the lesson sinks in and the path gets easier. To fully understand, we need to realize it is more important how we think about an event than the event itself.Consciously, we can’t always control what happens in our life, we can only control how we think about it and and our reaction to it. In this sense, we do control our destiny.Once one comes to a realization of why we need to experience this particular happening and the lesson that can be gleaned from it, life goes on and we actually create a new future void of having to experience that again.. The lesson has been learned.

Thus by thinking positive, even in the most dire of circumstances, our thinking influences and  affects every one and everything around us,and our world changes. Our thoughts as humans are so powerful that what we think and how we react to a given situation is more important than the event itself, in this sense we are creating our own reality and destiny.

We were given free will, not only in whether to have  a hot fudge sundae or a banana split, but free will to choose how to live our life. We have free will 100% of the time , in all situations, it isn’t a part time thing, can’t work that way. This being true, it only makes sense we are choosing every day of our life, we choose by deciding how to handle every situation in our life and our attitude towards it.

People and events respond to our attitude, if we expect the best in people they will respond, if we expect things to turn out for the best, they eventually will, if you don’t believe me , try it. Be grateful, give thanks for what you have and don’t focus on lack, if you focus on lack, that is what you will receive.

Don’t forget – your perception is your reality. Your perception is what you project. And what you project is what comes back! What goes around ,comes around.

Now you can follow me on Kindle.

Create your own photo gifts, your photo or mine.


Real Writing Jobs

reality

I have found over the years that there is no such thing as reality, it is only how we perceive it. Each of us may have a different view of it because of our different beliefs and experiences. Two individuals can be sitting side by side, looking at the same event and “see” two entirely different outcomes based on their individual perceptions.