McDonalds Job Application

Job Application

This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a
McDonald’s fast-food establishment in Florida… and they hired him
because he was so honest and funny !

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously,
whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be
applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY : $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we
can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I’m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS : 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a
more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING
UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be
“Do you have a car that runs?”

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a
winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas
with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m
the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing
that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

 

 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

 

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

 

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

 

Your comments appreciated

 

The wisdom of our ancestors

The wisdom of our ancestors

There is an extreme shortage of common sense in today’s world,
I often think back to what my parents and grandparents believed and said, at the time I thought they were totally out of their mind and ignored it. I now wish I would have listened and followed their advice more often.
It is in this light I have decided to publish some of my random thoughts based on the views of our ancestors.

 

 

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Obama and the Oil Spill: Peggy Noonan

Obama and the Oil Spill

Peggy Noonan

I don’t see how the president’s position and popularity can survive the oil spill. This is his third political disaster in his first 18 months in
office. And they were all, as they say, unforced errors, meaning they were shaped by the president’s political judgment and instincts.

There was the tearing and unnecessary war over his health-care proposal and its cost. There was his day-to-day indifference to the views and hopes of the majority of voters regarding illegal immigration. And now the past almost 40 days of dodging and dithering in the face of an environmental calamity. I don’t see how you politically survive this.

The president, in my view, continues to govern in a way that suggests he is chronically detached from the central and immediate concerns of his countrymen. This is a terrible thing to see in a political figure, and a startling thing in one who won so handily and shrewdly in 2008. But he has not, almost from the day he was inaugurated, been in sync with the center.
The heart of the country is thinking each day about A, B and C, and he is thinking about X, Y and Z. They’re in one reality, he’s in another.

President Obama promised on Thursday to hold BP accountable in the catastrophic Gulf of Mexico oil spill and said his administration would do everything necessary to protect and restore the coast.

The American people have spent at least two years worrying that high government spending would, in the end, undo the republic. They saw the dollars gushing night and day, and worried that while everything looked the same on the surface, our position was eroding. They have worried about a border that is in some places functionally and of course illegally open, that it too is gushing night and day with problems that states, cities and towns there cannot solve.

And now we have a videotape metaphor for all the public’s fears: that clip we see every day, on every news show, of the well gushing black oil into the Gulf of Mexico and toward our shore. You actually don’t get deadlier as a metaphor for the moment than that, the monster that lives deep beneath the sea.

In his news conference Thursday, President Obama made his position no better. He attempted to act out passionate engagement through the use of heightened language but repeatedly took refuge in factual minutiae. His staff probably thought this demonstrated his command
of even the most obscure facts. Instead it made him seem like someone who won’t see the big picture . The unspoken mantra in his head must have been, “I will not be defensive, I will not give them a resentful soundbite.” But his strategic problem was that he’d already lost the battle. If the well was plugged tomorrow, the damage will already have been done.

The original sin in my view is that as soon as the oil rig accident happened the president tried to maintain distance between the gusher and his presidency. He wanted people to associate the disaster with BP and not him. When your most creative thoughts in the middle of a disaster revolve around protecting your position, you are summoning trouble. When you try to dodge ownership of a problem, when you try to hide from responsibility, life will give you ownership and responsibility the hard way. In any case, the strategy was always a little mad. Americans would never think an international petroleum company based in London would worry as much about American shores and wildlife as, say, Americans would. They were never going to blame only BP, or trust it.

I wonder if the president knows what a disaster this is not only for him but for his political assumptions. His philosophy is that it is appropriate for the federal government to occupy a more burly, significant and powerful place in America confronting its problems of need, injustice, inequality. But in a way, and inevitably, this is always boiled down to a promise: “Trust us here in Washington, we will prove worthy of your trust.” Then the oil spill came and government could not do the job, could not meet need, in fact seemed faraway and incapable: “We pay so much for the government and it can’t cap an undersea oil well!”

This is what happened with Katrina, and Katrina did at least two big things politically. The first was draw together everything people didn’t like about the Bush administration, everything it didn’t like about two wars and high spending and illegal immigration, and brought those strands into a heavy knot that just sat there, soggily, and came to symbolize Bushism. The second was illustrate that even though the federal government in our time has continually taken on new missions and responsibilities, the more it took on, the less it seemed capable of performing even its most essential jobs.

Conservatives got this point they know it without being told but liberals and progressives did not. They thought Katrina was the result only of George W. Bush’s incompetence and conservatives’ failure to “believe in government.” But Mr. Obama was supposed to be competent.

Remarkable too is the way both BP and the government, 40 days in, continue to act shocked, shocked that an accident like this could have happened. If you’re drilling for oil in the deep sea, of course something terrible can happen, so you have a plan on what to do when it does.

How could there not have been a plan? How could it all be so ad hoc, so inadequate, so embarrassing? We’re plugging it now with tires, mud and golf balls ?

What continues to fascinate me is Mr. Obama’s standing with Democrats. They don’t love him. Half the party voted for Hillary Clinton, and her people have never fully reconciled themselves to him. But he is what they have. They are invested in him. In time after the 2010 elections go badly they are going to start to peel off. The political operative James Carville, the most vocal and influential of the president’s Gulf critics, signaled to Democrats this week that they can start to peel off. He did it through the passion of his denunciations.

The disaster in the Gulf may well spell the political end of the president and his administration, and that is no cause for joy. It’s not good to have a president in this position weakened, polarizing and lacking broad public support less than halfway through his term. That it is his fault is no comfort. It is not good for the stability of the world, or its safety, that the leader of “the indispensable nation” be so weakened. I never until the past 10 years understood the almost moral imperative that an American president maintain a high standing in the eyes of his countrymen.

Mr. Obama himself, when running for president, made much of Bush administration distraction and detachment during Katrina. Now the Republican Party will, understandably, go to town on Mr. Obama’s having gone only once to the gulf, and the fund-raiser in San Francisco that seemed to take precedence, and the EPA chief who decided to skip a New York fund-raiser only after the press reported that she planned to attend.

But Republicans should beware, and even mute their mischief. We’re in the middle of an actual disaster. When they win back the presidency, they’ll probably get the big California earthquake. And they’ll probably blow it.

Because, ironically enough, of a hard core of truth within their own philosophy: when you ask a government far away in Washington to handle everything, it will handle nothing well.

*(Correction: The EPA chief skipped the New York fund-raiser. An earlier
version of this column said that she had attended it.

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Does a Photographic Image catch the Soul of a Person

Here is an interesting study for paranormal research, is the soul
of a person caught within a photographic image?

In the days before photographs were stored on multimedia digital gizmos and the word digital sounded like a word uttered by my mathematics teacher, there was a time when we held processed printed images on photographic paper. I wonder if you can lay your hands on some, especially the ones with subjects staring back at you and would not really be known to you. It
would also be valuable if somebody could verify information you might come up with, especially if you had no prior knowledge of the subject.

Within certain cultures there was a belief a photograph could capture the soul of the subject. Well in this exercise let us try something of a paranormal study and see what happens. You need some photographs of people or person now deceased, to see if a link can be made to spirit.

If you have a selection of photographs, not photocopies or the like, they need to be preferably the original taken from the negative. Take a look at the selection of photographs if you have a number of them and pick out the ones that stand out. An image might stand out for a particular reason, something catches your eye while you scan over the photograph,
you may feel something while you are looking at the image, you may even be aware that there is something in the image, a presence that in your mind should be imprinted upon the image but yet takes no tangible form.
Spend no more than 30 seconds picking the photographs you want to work with.

Put the pictures to one side while you prepare yourself a little more with around 5 to 10 minutes meditation. Take this time to
relax your self before beginning to work on the photographs.

To meditate, sit yourself down uncross legs and arms, rest your arms by your side or on your lap. Close your eyes and take in a deep breath and then release it slowly. Try again and concentrate the mind to focus on the in breath drawn through the nose and then the out breath through the mouth. Keep your mind on your breathing and not allowing it to wander and think of those issues which prove distracting. Allow yourself time to learn how to meditate and relax. You will come to a point of
recognising a state when you feel relaxed and ready to begin.

Return to your selected pictures , pick one to look at, you may look upon it for however long you need. At this point make a note of any changes you see appearing. Be aware of any images that come into your mind. If you receive visualizations of scenes, places, names or anything worthy of note then record such detail.

It makes for an interesting study, especially if you are reading from photographs that you have never seen or have no knowledge about the people within them. It makes an even more interesting study when you are somehow able to describe information that proves correct and proves precise in its detail rather than making general and universal statements. Of course you are not always going to be right and not always going to get information. But do practice and
persevere you may really surprise yourself. Do learn to meditate in order to relax so you are raising your awareness and being open to the strange and mysterious areas of life and above all, enjoy the experience. Until the next time I leave you with this snapshot of a paranormal study.

About The Author

Join Willoughby Bedford as he
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Jake's Wife, The Deer Hunter

The Deer Hunter

It was Saturday morning as Jake, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go bag  the first deer of the season. He walked down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he found his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage.

Jake asked her, “What are you up to?”

Alice smiled. “I’m going hunting with you!”

Jake, though he had many reservations about this, reluctantly decided to take her along. Later they arrived at the hunting site. Jake set his wife safely up in the tree stand and told her, “If you see a deer, take careful aim and I’ll come running back as soon as I hear the shot.”

Jake walked away with a smile on his face knowing that Alice couldn’t bag an elephant, much less a deer. Not 10 minutes passed when he was startled as he heard an array of gunshots.

Quickly, Jake ran back. As Jake got closer to her stand, he heard Alice screaming: “Get away from my deer!”

Confused, Jake raced faster towards his screaming wife. And again he heard her yell: “Get away from my deer!” followed by another volley of gunfire!

Now within sight of where he had left his wife, Jake was surprised to see a guy standing there with his hands high in the air. The guy,obviously distraught, said, “Okay, lady, okay!!!! You can have your deer!!! Just let me get my saddle off it!”

Gary is a  writer and photographer  living in Sarasota, Florida . He maintains a website featuring some of his travel photos and markets a line of products featuring many of his photos.

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A Chick with long Legs

A Chick With Long Legs

 A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order.

The man says, “I’ll have a beer” and turns to the ostrich. “What’s yours?” “I’ll have a beer too” says the ostrich.
The bartender pours the beer and says “That will be $3.40 please,” and the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and the man says”I’ll have a beer,” and the ostrich says “I’ll have the same.” Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This became a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. “The usual?” asks the bartender.”Well, it’s close to last call, so I’ll have a large Scotch” says the man. “Same for me” says the ostrich. “That will be $7.20” says the bartender. Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the bar.

The bartender can’t hold back his curiosity any longer. “Excuse me,sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?”

“Well,” says the man, “several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found this old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever needed to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money will be there.”

“That’s brilliant!” says the bartender. “Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!””That’s right! Whether it’s a gallon of milk,or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the man.

“That’s fantastic!” says the bartender. “You are a genius! … Oh, one other thing sir, what’s with the ostrich?”

The man replies, “Oh, my second wish was for a chick with long legs.”

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 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

The Wife and the Thermometer

The Wife and the Thermometer

Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the
husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she
explained, “It’s the druggist – he insulted me terribly this morning on
the phone.”

Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand
an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist
told him, “Now, just a minute – listen to my side of it. This morning
the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without
breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t
lock the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a
window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding
ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire.

When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for
me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these
people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off. Then I
had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make
change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and
knees to pick up the nickels – the phone is still ringing – when I came
up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger
back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it, and half
of them hit the floor and broke. The phone is still ringing with no let
up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife — she wanted
to know how to use a rectal thermometer. Well, Mister, I TOLD HER!”


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 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

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Bill Clinton and the New Boy Friend

Bill Clinton and the boyfriend

Bill goes down to visit Chelsea at Stanford and to meet her new boyfriend.

Her boyfriend goes up to Bill and says, “Mr. President it’s so great to meet you. You know… you’re my idol, my role model.”

Bill replies, “Hey man, that’s it! I don’t want you seeing my daughter anymore!”

Gary is a  writer and photographer living in Sarasota, Florida. He maintains a website featuring some of his travel photos and markets a line of products featuring many of his photos.

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