Cheating Wife

Cheating Wife!

A guy dials his home phone from work. A strange woman answers.

The guy says, “Who is this?”

“This is the maid,” answered the woman.

“We don’t have a maid!”

“I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house.”

“Well, this is her husband. Is she there?”

“Um…she’s upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband.”

The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, “Listen, would you like to make 25,000 bucks?”

“What do I have to do?”

“I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she is with.”

The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by two gunshots.The maid comes back to the phone.

“What should I do with the bodies?”

“Throw them in the swimming pool!”

“What! There’s no pool here?””Uh… is this 2263841?”

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 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

Make money doing what you love

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Good News , Bad News

 

Good News

Two days after losing his wife in a boating accident, a man answered the door to two grim-faced police officers.
They announced “We have good news, some great news, and bad news, which do you want first?”
“Giver me the bad news first,” said the man.
“Sir, I’m afraid we’ve found your wife’s body in San Francisco Bay.”
“Oh, no,”sobbed the man,”My poor wife, My poor darling wife, what can be the good news?”
“When we pulled her up, she had a five pound lobster and and a dozen large edible crabs on her.”
“That’s awful,”replied the man, “So what could be the great news?”
“We’re going to pull her up again tomorrow.”

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The Armless Bell Ringer

The Armless Bellringers

I thought this was hilarious!

 

There was a monastery in France at the edge of a cliff overlooking a beautiful valley, and
because its bells could be heard over such a wide area, it developed a
reputation for attracting only the finest bellringers in the country.

There was always a bit of dread when a bellringer passed on or retired, and
one year, when they spread the word of their need for a new master,
there was a dearth of qualified candidates. They would have been good
enough for any other monastery, but not this one. Better to have silent
bells than anything less than the best.

As they were despairing at the quality of candidates, a man with no
arms paid a visit to apply for the position. The monks were amazed and
protested that this was no time for joking. But the man insisted, said
he was from a family of famous bellringers, and he would show them what
he could do. He drew back, lowered his head, and charged full speed at
the bell. The monks was horrified, but could not stop him. And the
sound — oh my, you should have been there! It was indeed a sound
worthy of that monastery. It rang thruout the valley, and people
everywhere stopped in their tracks and nodded to each other that at
last a worthy bellringer had been found.

But alas, it was not to be. For the impact so stunned the poor
armless man that he stumbled dizzily and fell over the cliff. The head
monk ran down the steps to where a crowd had gathered, and a policeman
spoke to him. “Do you know this man?” The monk sighed, “No, but his
face rings a bell.”

The search continued. One day not long after, another armless man
showed up and presented himself as the previous man’s brother. He was
there to uphold the family honor, and would show them what a good
bellringer could do. The monks protested, but too late — he also drew
back and charged full speed into the bell. And once again, the most
beautiful sound pealed out over the valley, such that even the birds
circled around to see what was happening. And once again, he was so
stunned that he too fell over the cliff in a daze.

Once again the head monk scrambled down the stairs to meet the crowd
and a policeman. Again he was asked if he knew the deceased. “No, but
he’s a dead ringer for his brother.”


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Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

Make money doing what you love

Make money doing what you love

This informative Ebook describes alternative methods of making money ,often a full time income in photography even if you have no desire to shoot wedding photography. this book gives examples and websites where you can use your photos to supply you with an income, not only to enable you to buy new equipment, but a living income as well.

 

Global Warming, More People are Doubting

Looks like people are finally waking up, after the horse is out of the barn

Is man-made global warming the biggest schuck of all time?

I don’t know. I’m not a scientist – and even if I were I might stillbe confused. But that’s the point. Our scientifically-challengedlegislators (Nancy Pelosi can barely speak coherent English, Al Gorenearly flunked out of divinity school) are about to enact amonumentally expensive, tax regressive “climate change” bill at the very moment AGW skepticism is growing in the rest of world. From the WSJ:

 

Among the many reasons President Barack Obamaand the Democratic majority are so intent on quickly jamming acap-and-trade system through Congress is because the global warmingtide is again shifting. It turns out Al Gore and the United Nations(with an assist from the media), did a little too vociferous a jobsmearing anyone who disagreed with them as “deniers.” The backlash hasbrought the scientific debate roaring back to life in Australia,Europe, Japan and even, if less reported, the U.S.

In April, the Polish Academy of Sciences published adocument challenging man-made global warming. In the Czech Republic,where President Vaclav Klaus remains a leading skeptic, today only 11%of the population believes humans play a role. In France, PresidentNicolas Sarkozy wants to tap Claude Allegre to lead the country’s newministry of industry and innovation. Twenty years ago Mr. Allegre wasamong the first to trill about man-made global warming, but thegeochemist has since recanted. New Zealand last year elected a newgovernment, which immediately suspended the country’s weeks-oldcap-and-trade program.

The number of skeptics, far from shrinking, is swelling.Oklahoma Sen. Jim Inhofe now counts more than 700 scientists whodisagree with the U.N. — 13 times the number who authored the U.N.’s2007 climate summary for policymakers. Joanne Simpson, the world’sfirst woman to receive a Ph.D. in meteorology, expressed relief uponher retirement last year that she was finally free to speak “frankly”of her nonbelief. Dr. Kiminori Itoh, a Japanese environmental physicalchemist who contributed to a U.N. climate report, dubs man-made warming“the worst scientific scandal in history.” Norway’s Ivar Giaever, NobelPrize winner for physics, decries it as the “new religion.” A group of54 noted physicists, led by Princeton’s Will Happer, is demanding theAmerican Physical Society revise its position that the science issettled. (Both Nature and Science magazines have refused to run thephysicists’ open letter.)

 

This is one of the greatest examples ever of “politics as religion,”people (our Congress) blinded by ideology to a degree that mightimpress the mullahs. Oh, well. It’s only our money and our country.

For the record, I will repeat “I am a anthropogenic global warmingagnostic.” It’s possible that I am wrong about this. But the idea thatNancy Pelosi et al are making decisions for us on this matter, when itis light years beyond their mental compass, is truly frightening. Theyare shameless and we are pathetic for electing them.

Here’s one last interesting example. A Congresswoman named EllenTauscher, Democrat from San Francisco’s East Bay, is so convinced ofthe veracity of AWG that she postponed resigning from Congress (she hasa new job with the administration) to vote for the bill. Ms. Tauscher’seducational background? She has a degree in early childhood education from Seton Hall.

Gary is a writer and photographer living in Florida, occasionally he publishes articles he finds that are relevant and interesting, he thought this was one of them.

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Detergents take out blood stains

Detergents

Now they show you how to take out blood stains- A pretty violent image there.
 I think if you have a T-shirt with blood stains all over it , maybe laundry isn’t your biggest problem.
 Maybe you should get rid of the body before you wash it.

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The Husband's Affair

The Husband’s Affair

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 60 miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel.

Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice.
‘I know we’ve been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce.’

The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 65 mph.

The husband speaks again, ‘I don’t want you to try and talk me out of
it,’ he says, ‘because I’ve been having an affair with your best
friend, and she’s a far better lover than you are.’

Again the wife stays quiet, But grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 75.

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He pushes his luck, ‘I want the house,’ he says insistently.

Up to 80.

‘I want the car, too,’ he continues.

85 mph.

‘And,’ he says, ‘I’ll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!’

The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This
makes him nervous, so he asks her, ‘Isn’t there anything you want?’

The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice. ‘No, I’ve got everything I need,’ she says.

‘Oh, really,’ he inquires, ‘so what have you got?’

Just before they slam into the wall at 85 mph, the wife turns to him and smiles, ‘The airbag.’


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 Gary has been a writer/ photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature,landscapes and studying native cultures.Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt,the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean. He has studied  the Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life.Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different parts of the world!

He has published several books about the various cultures he has observed.

For more information and a link to his hard cover and Ebooks,and contact information: please check his website.www.commonsensejourneys.com

Your comments appreciated

alcohol

In today’s world, many resort to abusing drugs and alcohol, why are so many becoming addicted and not only destroying their lives but the lives of others around them as well?

 

Women Who Know Their Place

 

WOMEN
WHO KNOW THEIR PLACE

Smart Women

Barbara Walters, of
20/20, did a story on gender roles in
Kabul,
Afghanistan, several years before the
Afghan conflict.

She noted that women
customarily walked five paces behind their
husbands.

She recently returned to Kabul
and observed that women still walk
behind
their husbands. Despite the overthrow
of the oppressive Taliban regime, the
women
now seem to, and are happy to, maintain the old
custom.

Ms. Walters approached one of the
Afghani women and asked, ‘Why do you now
seem
happy with an old custom that you once tried so
desperately to change?’

The woman looked
Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without
hesitation
said, ‘Land
Mines.’

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The author has been a writer/photographer for over thirty years. Specializing in nature and landscape photography, as well as studying native cultures.

His travels have taken him to most of the United States, as well as Australia, Belize, Egypt and the Canary Islands.

He has studied the Mayan culture of Central America as well as the aborigines of Australia. Photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in various parts of the world.

He has published several books about his adventures.

For more information, please consult his website,www.journeysthrulife.com.

Your comments welcome